The Countdown: Mel Gibson

The countdown counts down the top 5 of a random topic I deem important enough to talk about at that certain time. Today it is the top 5 Mel Gibson movies as decided by me. Before he drunkenly slurred racial slurs (pun intended!) he actually made some solid movies. I will only count movies he acted in.

5. The Patriot

The Patriot was one of Mel Gibson's movies during his streak of trying to act in a war movie in every time period possible. The movie is American propaganda to an extreme degree. In case you missed it let me sum up the plot: Americans are great, noble people who never owned slaves while the British or horrible, disgusting people who take great pride in war crimes and atrocities. Yup, that is pretty much it. The movie is also historically inaccurate which would matter if it was trying to be an educational movie. Bottom line the movie is good, has good action, good acting and it involves Americans kicking British ass! It makes my top five because I do enjoy it.
Grade: B
Best Quote: "I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me, and the cost would be more than I could bear." - Benjamin Martin (Mel Gibson's character)

4. Signs

You either love or hate Signs, there is no middle ground. I have never seen another movie with such a wide disparity in the reviews as this one. Signs is one of my favorite horror/suspense movies. I think the tone is set right from the beginning when Mel is awoken by his daughter's screaming and when he goes to investigate the movie is dead silent. No cheesy, suspenseful background music, just dead silence. Nothing is scarier then dead silence. The movie is well acted, has a good story and a few good scenes of humor to break up the suspense. A lot of people say the movie was ruined when they showed the alien, but I do not believe so. Not all aliens should be little green men with big heads and bug eyes. If they had not shown the alien, you would have been pissed!
Grade: A
Best Scene: When we see the home video of a kid's birthday party and all the kids are screaming in horror, then for a split second we see the alien (for the first time) walk into and out of the frame. That made me jump in the theater, good stuff.

3. Lethal Weapon Series

Riggs! If you say buddy cop the first thing I think of is Riggs and Murtaugh. The 1st one was the best, and I liked the 3rd one the least but they were all pretty good. The funny thing is Murtaugh was close to retirement in the 1st one, yet made three more movies! Joe Pesci comes along in the 2nd one to give us some awesome comedic relief. The 2nd one also introduced the illiterate masses (such as me) to diplomatic immunity. The 4th one is pretty cheesy and overall not that good, but still enjoyable. Plus it introduced the world to Jet Li. Now I have a question for you to ponder, who would win in a fight between Riggs and John McClain (Bruce Willis' character from Die Hard)? That sounds like a whole other blog post.
Grade: 1: A-, 2: B+, 3: (dont remember or care) 4: C+
Cheesiest Scene: In the 4th one where Riggs just got done fighting Jet Li and is stuck under water and Murtaugh does not know where he is and yells out "Will me Riggs!" then dives into the water and swims to exactly where Riggs was. Wait, that is an awesome scene!

2. Maverick

Is there a more lovable, sleazy, card shark in film history then Brett Maverick? I think this movie is hilarious, and is Mel Gibson's best comedy performance. The characters are great too: Jodi Foster as Annabelle Bransford (she and Mel had great chemistry in this one), James Garner as Marshal Zane Cooper and Graham Greene as Joseph, the most unbelievable Native American in film history. Not only does this movie deliver on comedy and action, but it also fills the poker fix and old west fix! What a movie. If you have not quoted every line from the final table in this movie during your own poker nights with your friends, you are severely lacking in awesomeness.
Grade: A
Best Quote: "I have two small pair . . . 8's over 8's" - The Commodore

1. Braveheart

This is my favorite movie of all time. It is long, but never drags. The acting is great, the musical score is great and the ending is great. This movie is just plain great! It even won an academy award for best picture for its efforts. I get hooked from the very beginning, seeing the endless miles of green grass and the bagpipes blaring (God Bless Scotland!) If you didn't get sick to your stomach when Robert the Bruce double crossed William Wallace on the battlefield, you suck. If you weren't pissed when they slit Wallace's wife's throat, you have no compassion. If you didn't get goosebumps during Wallace's "freedom" speech, there is something wrong with you. If you weren't moved by Wallace yelling freedom instead of begging for mercy during his torture, you just might not be human. Great overall movie.
Grade: A+++
Best Scene:

Pirates of the Caribbean: At the World's End

So we have finally come to the final adventure of Jack Sparrow and his faithful friends (well, we think). The 2nd Pirates of the Caribbean movie had one main criticism: It was really confusing. Well At the World's End suffers from the same problem. The movie, although better then the 2nd, is incredibly hard to follow. These two sequels seem to have way much more going on the the original ever did (not a good thing). Pirates has had two sequels and neither can come close to comparing to the original. The humor that was so charming in the first one was tired and predictable in the 2nd and 3rd.

In the 1st Pirates of the Caribbean movie we followed Will Turner and Jack Sparrow as they tried to save Elizabeth from Pirates who were trying to break a curse on themselves. Simple, easy and good. The two sequels deal with the East India Trading Company, Davey Jones, Pirate Lords, Sea Goddesses and more. I have no idea what is going on! Who are the protagonists? The pirates? Pirates are bad guys! The English? They sure do not feel like it. Davey Jones? He is a walking curse. Hard to tell.

I'm getting off track. If you enjoy the humor of these movies, enjoy watching Johnny Depp play Jack Sparrow, enjoy Keria Knightly and enjoy the creativity and sense of fantasy these movies have, then you will enjoy this. They may pale in comparison to the original (which was a solid A movie) but they are still interesting. Even if they are tired and played out. At least this movie has closure, although you can't help but think they set it up for a 4th movie. Hey if you can keep pulling in $100 million opening weekends, you should keep making movies.

Grade: B-

The Finest Music Video Ever Made

Without a doubt the finest music video ever made, I thought I would dig it out of the vault because it still has amazing replay value. Jessica Simpson's career peak in my opinion. Bonus points because Willie Nelson is in it.

3rd Annual TV Awards Blog

Its hard to believe this is my third annual TV awards blog. It is an awards/year in review blog that I put out every year so my three readers can see what I have to say about the world of TV.
Disclaimer: I don't watch reality TV, so that will not be included. Very popular TV shows I don't watch due to the fact that I don't have the time or they conflict with my viewing schedule: Grey's Anatomy, House, 24, Lost and the Sopranos. So do not be angered that they do not appear in my list.

Away we go!

Best New Show: Heroes
I think I would classify Heroes as a surprise hit. I sure did not think it was going to be that good but what we got was a water cooler show in the sense that you always were wondering what would happen next. Twists and turns every week in this slow moving TV series. The initial fear that it would be an X-Men rip off has now subsided, the biggest reason you could call this show a success is the fact that got renewed for 30 episodes next year plus a spin-off series that will run for 6 episodes. 36 episodes! That is when you know your show is a winner.
Apologies to: Friday Night Lights, 30 Rock (hey NBC had a solid year!)

Most Disappointing Show: Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip
Back in its infancy, Studio 60 was supposed to be the show that spearheaded NBC's comeback attempt. Starring the wildly popular Mathew Perry (in an incredibly different role then his days as Chandler on Friends) and produced by Aaron Sorkin (of West Wing fame) this show had the hot buzz. Lets not forget it reintroduced Amanda Peet to our lives, which is always a good thing. The show never quite took off as the dialogs, while it was well written and smart, was totally unrealistic and it seemed the show often centered around right-wing Christian controversies. I liked it for what it was, but it could have been so much better. Luckily for NBC, their hit hour long drama ended up being Heroes.

If we removed all shows about medicine and law from TV, would there be anything left?

The Best Guest Character: Loyd the Delivery Man from Scrubs
(note, this award given to characters that appear on their show, but not enough to be considered a supporting character).
Loyd first made his appearance in season 5, as the air drummer for the classic air band. He had more of a roll in season 6 and was hilarious in the little time he was on screen. See Youtube clip for more details.
Apologies too: Almost any other bit character on Scrubs, Creed from the Office.



Best New Character: Hiro from Heroes
Originally meant to be the comic relief of the show, and he was, he ended up becoming the show's most popular character and the one you root for the most. How else to you explain this:
Extreme Apologies go to: Andy Bernard from the Office



Best Supporting Character: Loyd from Entourage
As his roll expands on the show the funnier he becomes. He is the perfect compliment and voice of reason to Ari, which also leads to incredibly funny gay jokes by Ari. He seems to be getting more screen time in season three.
Apologies too: Jake from Two and a Half Men, Janitor from Scrubs (or any other supporting scrubs cast member).

Best Character: Jim and Pam, the Office
Decided to give this award to two people, since the entire Office season was defined by the Jim, Pam and Karen love triangle. The excellent season finale (I wont give it away if you have yet to see it) only added to the great year they had. Everyone roots for them, Jim is the aloof guy that everyone likes and Pam redefines "girl next door" cute. Since Jim and Pam are close to overtaking Ross and Rachel as NBC's most famous couple ever, well you deserve the best character award. If you disagree, well just watch this youtube clip:
Apologies too: Dwight from the Office, anyone on Scrubs, Charlie from 2 1/2 Men, Barney from How I Met Your Mother, Alec Baldwin from 30 Rock, Lex Luthor from Smallville, Johnny Drama and Ari Gold from Entourage



Best Show: The Office, NBC
NBC's the Office had an amazing season, become the rock the NBC's return to Must See TV Thursday nights (although their slogan now is. "Comedy Night Done Right") and features such a cast of great characters that it had to win the award this year. Even though Michael Scott is almost unwatchable at times he is still pretty funny and the entire cast is awesome. For more see above about Jim and Pam. The year also gave us a bigger role for Creed and the introduction of Andy Bernard. Couldn't find a best of clip of season 3 on youtube yet, so you will have to settle for the best scene of the year:
Apologies to: Scrubs, Two and a Half Men, Heroes, Entourage



Thank you see you next year!

Spider-Man 3 Review

I love Spider-Man movies. I was incredibly pumped for the 1st one and it did not disappoint, the 2nd one was even better. When I heard the third one was coming out and tackling the best storyline Spider-Man has to offer, the symboite, I was incredibly pumped. What I was subject to was a mockery of the Spider-Man name. My review is split into two parts, my actual review that does not contain spoilers and my analysis that should only be read after you have seen the movie. So here I go:

Review

Spider-Man 3 suffers from trying to cram to much story into one movie. The movie contains three villains and not nearly enough time to give them enough back story and character development to make you care about them. That was not the case in the first two, when they only had one villain and did a great job with them. There is so much in this one that the stories are sloppy. Take into account the Sandman, played by Thomas Haden Church (Lowell from Wings! How far he has come!). He apparently turned to a life of crime to help save his daughter from an illness. The movie, however, never says what her illness is and NEVER resolves the situation! We start with Spider-Man being adored by the citizens of New York, the fame is quasi going to his head and starting to annoy Mary Jane, who's acting career is struggling. Peter has to avoid an attack by Harry Osborn, who has redesigned the old Goblin stuff from his dad. After that Peter/Spider-Man fights the Sandman, an escaped convict who's body is made of sand. The special effects in the Sandman battles are nothing short of breathtaking. Peter later finds out that the Sandman actually killed his uncle, in his pre-sandman days, which drives Peter to seek revenge. An alien substance from outer space takes this time to bond with Peter, turning him into a more power full and evil Spider-Man with a fresh looking black suit. The suit feeds on aggression and causes Peter to do evil things. Once Peter turns evil the movie gets so cheesy it is impossible to take seriously. The rest of the movie deals with Peter trying to rid himself of the suit while dealing with the Sandman, Harry Osborne and a new villain that comes in at the end; Venom. Compared to the first two, this Spider-Man is awful. The biggest disappointment I have ever felt after a movie.
Grade: C-

Analysis

Put on your seat belt, I am a huge Spider-Man fan boy and feel the need to break down how bad this Spider-Man movie was from both a movie stand point and a true to the comics stand point. The symbiote storyline is Spider-Man's best storyline. It is an alien substance that bonds with him, enhances his powers and makes him evil (so evil he basically starts to hop the line between hero and villain, and lets his rage control him at all times). The symbiote can morph itself into whatever clothes Peter wishes it, so he never really has to dress himself again. In the movie, however, it's just a suit like his normal Spider-Man suit. That's bullshit! Not nearly as cool. The suit only affected how he acted when he had it on, where as in the comics he always had it on. As for Peter becoming "evil", it was pathetic. I'm sure Sam Rami was trying to be funny, but he went way to far. Instead of evil, Peter becomes a somewhat mix of 70s John Travolta and an Emo punk. Its laughable, the whole theater was laughing and not for good reasons. He starts walking down the street, pointing to women, doing gay disco dance moves and saying weird saying like "give me some shade, long legs" (to a woman). When he ditches the suit and it bonds with Eddie Brock and creating Venom, well the movie sucked at that too. The look and effects were awesome, but the character sucked. When Venom talks he refers to himself as "we", referring to Eddie Brock and the symbiote. Not in the movie, it did not help that Eric Foreman played Spider-Man's greatest enemy. At the end of the movie Venom gets Sandman's help to take down Spider-Man which is bogus. Venom is a loner and he wants to kill Spider-Man by himself. He actually would defeat people attacking Spider-Man because he did not want anyone to steal his glory. Plus he does not need any help, he is physically superior in every way to Spider-Man (his only weakness being sound). The movie also did not make it clear that the symbiote actually made Spider-Man more powerful while he was wearing it. The Spider-Man movies have sort of varied from the comics in the past, which was fine. But they never varied this much and made such a mockery out of the character. Rami, Maguire and Dunst did their job for the first two movies but it might be time for them to step aside.

The ending was horrible, with the Sandman and Spider-Man "forgiving" each other then the Sandman drifts off into the sunset. Never mind that they never resolved the Sandman's daughter is ill storyline. The symbiote storyline is Spider-Man's best. It makes Spider-Man more powerful, gives him a cool black suit, makes him evil, shows him overcoming the evil inside of him and gives birth to his coolest villain. It is supposed to be darker then all other Spider-Man stories. If a Saturday morning cartoon can do a better job of portraying this then a movie without the limitations of catering to a young audience, then that is just sad. I want to forget this movie ever happened.