My Life

I give to you, the prospective reader, a day in my life. I’ll take you behind the scenes and show you what really goes on. Well all these things don’t happen in the same day all the time; they always reoccur every week it seems like.

10 am- I wake up, hop in the shower, spread some bagel on my cream cheese (seriously) and read various sports pages from across the country.

11 am- I’m done eating, done waking up now its time for me to play Madden for the next few hours.

2:30pm- I break from Madden to watch PTI, only to find golf has preempted it.

2:35pm- I decide to try and take out the trash, which is so overflowing that it is a self-sustaining entity now.

3:30pm- I somehow succeed in taking out the trash.

4pm- My roommate Justin wakes up and takes a shower, ironically at the exact moment I was going to use the bathroom (we only have one bathroom).

5pm- Matt enters the apartment and greets us with an “ahoy ahoy”.

5:30pm- Matt, Justin and I debate on where to get food. Matt votes quiznos, Justin votes for “America’s Drive Through” (he is referring to Sonic) my suggestion gets shot down instantly.

6pm- After a solid half hour of debating we have decided on KFC. As we arrive I try and decide what type of “snackers” I should get. Justin tells me to get a 20 piece bucket all to myself.

6:05pm- I order first, getting two regular snackers and two buffalo ones. Then I proceed to stand in front of the soda fountain trying to decide between Pepsi, Dr. Pepper or Root Beer.

6:10pm- Justin and Matt finish making their orders; I am still trying to make my soda decision.

6:15pm- Everyone’s orders are up, Matt decides to make my soda decision for me (root beer) because my indecisiveness will keep us there all night long.

6:30pm- We are back at the apartment, finished eating and Matt and Justin are playing Madden. I am banging my head against the wall (just kidding).

7pm- Justin tells me to call “Easy E” (our friend Eric) and tell him to come entertain us (he lives in the same complex). I get his voice mail which states, and I quote, “you have reached the Mongoose”. I tell Justin I got his machine, we both assume he is WOWing (playing World of Warcraft online).

7:30pm- Easy E enters the apartment with a six pack of beer, saying “yo, yo, yo” pointing at all of us reciting our nicknames. He then asks if there is any Bruce Willis on.

7:35pm- Matt leaves

8pm- The Girl Next Door comes on HBO and Easy E, Justin and I quote every single line of the movie.

8:30pm- Ed comes barreling through the door and asks us what is going down tonight. We decide to call Bjorn.

9:30pm- Bjorn enters the apartment and asks us “What’s really good?” We hear word of a party from one of our friends and decide to go.

10pm- We arrive at the party, but its just 4 guys playing beer pong. People are too loose with the word party nowadays. If it’s under 20 people, it’s not a party. If the guy to girl ratio is above 2 to 1 then it’s not a party. Having a keg does not a party make.

10:10pm- We get a call from Armando who tells us all the Tempe 12 girls are at his house. (The Tempe 12 is the officially recognized twelve hottest ASU students. They made a calendar. Some of them are overrated). We decide to go over to Mondo’s, which interrupts Bjorn’s intense game of beer pong. “Just one more game Doggy” He says.

10:30pm- We arrive at Mondo’s but no Tempe 12 to be seen. Mondo tells us they just left, but there are some fat sorority girls still chillin. Ed proclaims he will not “lower his standards tonight” and we decide to leave.

11pm- We arrive on Mill Avenue and go to the bars. We go to the Tavern and decide to wait in the long line to get in.

11:10pm- As we wait in line we see girls exiting, Easy E keeps saying to them “you’re leaving? But I just got here.”

11:15pm- We finally enter but can barley move due to the mass of people. Ed proclaims “this bar sucks.”

11:16pm- The Who’s Teenage Westland plays over the sound system; Ed proclaims “I love this bar!”

12am- We find our way onto the dance floor. I do the only dance move you ever need to do (the “count it”) over and over for about 40 straight minutes. The ladies love it, but soon get bored of it.

12:20am- Bjorn and Easy E start talking to some girls. Easy E starts to talk about when he went to Texas for a Quake tournament. He realizes his error and stops himself before critical damage had been done. Bjorn tells him he is “wild homo doggy.”

12:30am- A drunk Ed proclaims “I am lowering my standards”.

1am- Justin convinces us all to go to Denny’s when we leave the bar, we agree and he unleashes a very load “BOOM!” complete with Tiger Woods like fist pump. He is drunk by the way too and always louder when drunk.

1:10am- Random text messaging is in full force.

1:30am- Just when you think Ed has his girl for the night, he gets brutally cock blocked and we decide to bounce.

1:35am- Ed has had so much beer tonight he keeps saying he is “the Large” over and over again.

1:40am- On the drive back we decide not to go to Denny’s, this leaves Justin devastated. Bjorn wants to get more beer, Easy E is almost down for the count.

1:45am- In the parking lot of the apartment complex we see a hot girl. Ed goes from pretty much passed out to peak attentiveness and proclaims, once again, he is “the Large”.

2am- I turn in

7am- Bjorn and Justin turn in after hours of video gaming and poker talk. No one really knows what became of Easy E.


There you have it, my life in a nutshell. I must say, I love every second of it.

Late Summer Movie Reviews

We here at Double the Blog are glad to be back and apologize to our zero readers for the lack of posts lately (I seriously mean zero, because I think all of my five regular readers think I stopped updating this blog). As summer comes to a close (school starts on Monday) I bring you four movie review, Clerks II, Talladega Nights, Accepted and Snakes on a Plane. Can any of these four movies do anything to help the worst summer for movies in American history? Well read on and find out:

Clerks II-
A sequel twelve years in the making. The first one was not going to be topped; it was too original, too charming, too funny and too good for a sequel to top it. While the first was shot in black and white, only about 2 minutes of this one are shot in black and white. While the black and white scheme added to the charm of the first one, this film being in color doesn’t take anything away from the franchise (if you can call two films a franchise). We start off with the Quick Stop burned to the ground by, you guessed it, Randall. Dante and Randall proceed to find new jobs at Mooby’s, a fast food joint (you might remember it from prior Kevin Smith films). It is Dante’s last day before he moves to Florida with his fiancé and the movie chronicles that last day. Also appearing in the movie is Mooby’s boss and potential Dante love interest Becky, played by Rosairo Dawson. Also working at movies is teenager Elias, who adds some good comedy to the flick in a supporting role. Of course Jay and Silent Bob return, doing Jay and Silent Bob things. The movie, of course, is not as good as the first one but it is also not as funny as Kevin Smith movies of the past. It has its great parts though, like when Randall goes on a rant about the Lord of the Rings trilogy as it compares to the Star Wars trilogy. This is the movie’s highlight. The lowlight is a completely unnecessary beastiality scene at the movie’s climax. As for Dante and Randall, while nothing has changed with them except they are twelve years older. While they were charming, real life Clerks in the first movie they seem like losers is this one. I mean they are in their mid thirties and working at a fast food joint (that remarkably never, ever seems to get busy). It also doesn’t help that you know exactly how things are going to play out about 10 minutes into the movie. That is not that big of a deal if the movie is good enough, but like I said it disappoints. Overall it’s not all that bad; Jay and Silent Bob are their refreshingly normal selves. I just feel Kevin Smith kind of made this movie to make money and didn’t put his heart into as much as he could have. That’s just how I feels to me I guess. The movie does have rewatchability factor but it could really do without the gross “interspecies erotica” at the end.
Grade: C

Talladega Nights, the Ballad of Ricky Bobby
A Will Ferrell movie to save our summer of bad movies! Yeah! Oh wait its not that good, boo! Actually Talladega has gotten pretty solid reviews but I think the movie leaves a lot to be desired. It centers on a NASCAR driver, Ricky Bobby, who is the best in the business until he his challenged by Jean Girard, a French Formula One driver played by Sacha Baron Cohen. The main problem with the movie is that it is a NASCAR movie but a good portion of the movie takes place with Ricky Bobby is down and out on his luck. The movie gets exceedingly unfunny (by this I mean it starts out pretty funny and just tails off) and by the end you don’t really seem to care because you know exactly what is going to happen. John C. Riley, playing Ricky Bobby’s best friend Cal Naughton Jr, is great in this movie. He is funnier than Ferrell, but to be fair Ferrell was not up to his par performance in this movie.

Movie Highlight: Any scene that is improvised. No one can improvise better than Ferrell. The best scene is when he is praying to baby Jesus and improvising it the whole way, it is hilarious. All the improvised scenes are so funny because they are so natural, they blow the written scenes away. Another highlight would be Leslie Bibb who plays Ricky’s wife Carley Bobby, where have you been all my life?

Movie Lowlight: A movie about a sport that is all about advertising? You can bet the studio was licking their chops. There is actually a commercial in this movie. Yes, you are hearing me right. It is part of a comedy sketch, a crash scene is so long they break for commercial but still there is a commercial in this movie. We don’t need this! That was the lowlight.

What could have been better: More improvised scenes and less time away from NASCAR. Also they could have made the interchange between Jean Girard and Ricky Bobby a lot better than it was. Parts of it were funny, but it could have been done a lot better.

Overall: Exactly what I expected out of this movie. This summer has been so bad that I fear the worst of every movie and I expected this one to disappoint. So it didn’t disappoint me. How much in depth can you go with a NASCAR comedy? The character Ricky Bobby could have been great but it was just okay.
Grade: C

Accepted-
The story is actually pretty interesting because I have never seen anything like it before. Bartleby Gaines (Justin Long) can’t get into any college in the country. He even gets rejected from Ohio State (which I didn’t know was possible, seriously I think they have to accept everyone. Maybe that’s just in Ohio). Exasperated he decides to create a college (because apparently community college doesn’t exist in this movie) the South Harmon Institute of Technology. He gets his friend Sherman Schrader (Jonah Hill) to create a website for the college. Sherman is genuinely funny in this movie and is the bulk of the laughs early on until the movie decides to not let him do ANYTHING funny the rest of the movie (this happens about forty minutes into the movie, basically after the scene he is dressed up like a hot dog). Along with some other friends who couldn’t get into college they decide to all pretend like they got accepted. What a crew it is, there is Maria Thayer who got turned down from Yale and apparently couldn’t get anything else. There is Bartleby’s football playing friend Hands who got a scholarship then got hurt and had it taken away. They also hire a dean, Uncle Ben (Lewis Black). Black spends the movie ranting a raving about society, culture, conformity and swearing (he even goes over the 1 f-bomb allowed per PG-13 movie). While designing the website Sherman misunderstands that “acceptance is one click away” is a slogan and when he actually makes it a reality everyone who got rejected by a college shows up and the fun begins.
It’s safe to say the movie had some plot holes, which is to be expected and could be made up if the movie is funny enough. It is a mad libs comedy. By that I mean they use the same plot structure as any other mediocre comedy and just change around the players and the setting. There are the high, the lows, the really high and the really lows. Not to mention the movie gets serious at the end, which always kills light hearted comedies. Not to mention an ending that would never, ever happen in real life. Also included in the movie is a passionate speech, a rivalry with the dean and head frat guy of another college and a love interest. Sadly I think the movie could have been a lot funnier and it seems to stop trying mid way through the movie. However I do like Justin Long, the only reason I think I went to see this movie.
Grade: C

Snakes on a Plane

“I've had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane!”

How can you not like a movie with a quote like that? I think this is my new favorite quote of all time, seriously. Think what you can incorporate it to be? I have it with these mother fucking _____ on this mother fucking _____. The possibilities are endless.
When I first saw the trailer for this movie, well I knew it was going to be good. The movie is intentionally bad, to the point that it is just absolutely hilarious. The movie starts off in Hawaii where we are treated to about 20 minutes of footage that is devoid of snakes or planes, but hey you gotta set up the story right? What did you expect (or in my case hoping for) snakes right off the bat? The movie starts off with Sean Jones witnessing a murderer committed by criminal mastermind Eddie Kim. Never mind the fact that Kim beats a district attorney to death with a baseball bat out in the open in broad daylight, this guy is a criminal mastermind. When he finds out who witnessed him he decided Sean must die. FBI agent Nelville Flynn (Sam Jackson) is entrusted with the duty to protect Sean on his cross ocean flight to LA to testify as a witness against Kim. Kim is such a mastermind that instead of arranging one of your usual “hits” he decides to load up his plane with an all-star cast of poisonous snakes (its like the 1992 Dream Team of snakes, Cobras, Rattlesnakes, galore).
This is when we are treated to the delightful crew and passengers of the plane. This is another all-star crew of airline and horror movie stereotypes. There is the flight attendant Claire Miller (Julianna Margulies) who is on her very last flight before she takes a new job. Let’s not forget the nervous flyer, the honeymooning couple, the lady with a baby (“Oh God my baby! My baby!”), snooty foreign business man that takes a remarkably long time to die (but they finish him in such a fantastic way), couple who wants to join the mile high club, the chauvinistic pilot (Champ from Anchorman fame), kickboxing Asian guy and rich girl with little dog in her purse.
Shortly after the flight takes off we are treated to the giant box of snakes that has a timer on it waiting to release them. So we have a countdown to snakes timer, this is just a great touch. The closer to zero it gets, the more excited the crowd at the movie seemed to get. Once the snakes are released we are treated to some truly awesome snake vision (apparently snakes see in all green and their vision is very blurred). These snakes attack in every which way to get a laugh, they go for tits, dicks, through eyes, out of mouths, and up ladies skirts. Its fabulous and 100% enjoyable.
The rest of the movie is spent watching Sam Jackson swear, regulate and kick some snake ass. He is perfect in this movie, playing his stereotypical Sam Jackson perfectly (I would hope he could). As more and more things go wrong and more obstacles arise you can see Sam Jackson starting to get frustrated. So when he unleashes his famous quote late in the movie you can’t help but laugh (or cry like I did, it was that funny). The quote comes towards the end and you will probably forget it is coming trying to digest what has been happening the last hour. It comes at a perfect time and it is a perfect quote.
I recommend this movie if you are looking for a good movie to sit back, drink a soda, eat some popcorn and just enjoy. Take it for what it is, a movie that has plot holes, so-so acting, cheesy quotes and CGI snakes. It was all intentional, and the movie lived up to every expectation I ever had for it.
Grade: A+

Formatting the Change

Im not sure if anyone is still reading, if so I apologize for the lack of posts for I have been totally into the Tecmo Blog right now. I am going to make this blog about entertainment, TV and my life but its summer and nothing interesting happens on all three fronts. I promise I will update real soon once something interesting happens. I mean I could blog about how I spend all day working the front desk at the art museum today, but who really cares? For now I will leave you with a picture of one awesome dude, a blast from the past: Big Boss Man. Enjoy, I shall return.

Format Change

This is an exciting time for double the blog, we (and by we I mean I) are undergoing a format change! I have started a sports blog with some good friends of mine that is going to be awesome! Check it out at http://tecmo-blog.blogspot.com or just click the link to the right side. Anyway with most of my sports writing being contributed to that blog, I am changing the format of this one. I will rarely post about sports, instead I will focus more on my exciting life, movies, TV and other things of entertainment value. So thank you loyal readers, I encourage you to regularly check out this blog as well as the new, exciting Tecmo Blog!

118!

118! The hottest day in a decade! You Midwesterners bitch all you want about your humidity, try dealing with 118! The Devil did go down to Georgia, but maybe he made a pit stop in Phoenix. You want to know how insanely hot this day was? It was too hot for the pool! The POOL! I went to the pool and if I wasn’t in the water I was seriously frying. While laying out and reading by the pool fried Aaron was nearly served up. I lasted about 25 minutes before heading back into the apartment and drinking an amount of water equivalent to the Gulf of Mexico.
118! It was so hot I remember thinking, let me remind you I have lived in Arizona all my life and the heat doesn’t really bother me anymore, that it was disgustingly hot. It was the hottest I could ever remember feeling. What the hell was I doing outside? 118! I must say, I love it! Bring it on! I say 130, maybe even 140. Who cares it’s all the same. I love summer!
So I am totally rambling, but I also needed to save face. I have not posted in a long time. This is due to the possibility of me and a few friends of mine starting a sports blog so I was holding off on posting. If this happens, and I will keep you posted, not only will that be the greatest blog on the internet but I will also change the format of this blog. But more details on that at a later date.
I have more to talk about, the D-Backs are hot, and the Contender is back. Plus my birthday was last week. Its an exciting time however my blog is in limbo. Give me a week and it will either be back in full force or with a format change but still better than ever. Sorry for the filler post, not that anyone who reads really cares.

The Worst Movie of All Time

There have been many bad movies made over the course of our lifetime and picking the worst one of them all is pretty impossible. However, I think I can safely say I found it. After flipping around channels on HBO the other day I somehow settled on Batman and Robin, only because I had to see if it was as bad as I remembered when I saw it in the theaters back before my days in high school.
Let me give some Batman background first, by the time this movie came out Joel Schumacher was directing it he had been given the reigns of the franchise from Tim Burton. He did Batman Forever, which was not that bad, but a far cry from the first two Batmen. Secondly at this point in time the Batman movies were the thing to do, the franchise could pretty much get any actor they wanted because the film was guaranteed a huge payday. The studio spent an incredible amount of money on this movie and had at the time what they considered to be an all star cast, George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurman, Chris O’Donnell and Alicia Silverstone.
Now there are usually types of bad movies. There are movies that are comically bad, movies that are boring (but maybe well done) and movies that just reek. Then there was Batman and Robin. This movie got a 13% on Rottentomatoes.com fresh meter, with only six good reviews. The titles of these “good reviews” are along the lines of “No one liked this but I did,” and “Uma Thurman was good”. Let me describe the first scene, we see Batman and Robin putting on their suits and we are treated to close-ups of their asses and nipple regions (suits complete with nipples) you know right then that the movie is going to be awful. I watched the first five minutes and cringed, I turned it on about an hour later watched for five minutes and cringed. I don’t ever recall a movie that made you cringe the whole time, the movie makes the viewer feel bad about life in general. I seriously felt ill sitting there watching it, I felt ashamed for some reason. The movie is so corny. Everyone one of Arnold’s lines (he plays Mr. Freeze) is along the lines of “that’s cold”, “chill out”, “revenge is a dish best served cold”, “talk about a cold shoulder.”
I’ve also never witness a movie where EVERY actor/actress mailed their performance in. No one even tried to put any effort into the movie, its actually pretty sad. You want further proof that this movie was horrible? Look what it did to the careers of the people involved in it.
The movie was released in 1997
Arnold- Did two so-so movies in 5 years after doing 8 the previous 5 years.
Chris O’Donnell- Remember Vertical Limit? That was in 2000 and it was also the last time anyone heard from him.
Alicia Silverstone- This movie ended her career, literally.
Joel Schumacher- Phone Booth, that’s the only movie I’ve ever heard of that he has directed since.

Only George Clooney and Uma Thurman escaped somewhat unscarred. At the time these people were big names in Hollywood, their careers had a collective atom bomb dropped on them. It also managed to kill an extremely popular franchise for 8 years until Batman Begins washed the bad taste out of our mouths. Has any movie ever been this bad? Has any movie ever ended so many careers? Has any movie ever made you feel physically ill after it? I give you Batman and Robin, the worst movie of all time.

I return! With a movie review and other random thoughts

I’ve got a three part blog today, so no screwing around and wasting time. I gotta get to the goods-

It was sad to read in the paper that Tim Thomas was leaving, although it was not surprising. The Clippers offered him 12 million more than the Suns, and no matter how much you talk about staying with a team for a chance to win a championship you take 12 million more, especially when it is a team that also has a chance to win. It makes the Suns look bad for selling their draft picks with the excuse that they were going to resign Tim Thomas (actually they never made that excuse, they just said there was no one else they wanted so they traded their picks for money). However early on I was about 100% sure the Suns wouldn’t resign him, mainly because all his touches were going to go to Amare. As the playoffs went on I started to think he would resign, then I was totally sure of it when the season was over. So I sort of expected all along that he would leave, but it was pretty crushing to hear. However I don’t think it makes the Clippers that much better since they lost Rad Man. Thomas has been known as a contract player (his two best years came in contract years) and I could very easily see him not doing much in the Clippers system. But is he revitalized? Lets put it this way, getting normal Tim Thomas to replace Rad Man is a downgrade, but if they get 2006 playoffs Tim Thomas then it is an upgrade.

Rad Man goes to the Lakers, I gotta say I like the move for the Lakers. A frontcourt at times of Rad Man and Odom can give opponents multiple looks and could be a match up nightmare. Peja going to the Hornets is another good move, the Hornets need a 2 or a 3 who could score and that is Peja. Just don’t count on him in the playoffs, but at least he will get you there. The Paces got totally screwed though, they get nothing for Ron Artest. Finally probably the biggest move of the off-season is Ben Wallace to Chicago. Gotta love it for the Bulls, they will have some serious inside defense with Wallace, good shot blocking with Wallace, Chandler and Thomas and they have an overall good core (they also get the Knicks pick next year, Bulls looks solid).

How about that NBA draft? I passed up to lower level tickets to see King Felix pitch in order to stay home and see what the suns did, which was nothing at all. That was a mega blunder by myself. Still it had to be somewhat worth it, I got to see live the greatest draft pick of all time (the Knicks taking Relando Balkman). Words cant describe how pumped I am to see an Isiaih Thomas coached Knicks team.

Quick take on the Diamondbacks, it looks like they are finally turning it around with a sweep of a pretty solid A’s team. Now they start a big series with the Dodgers. It’s a new month so lets hope for a better record.

Alright the main event of this entry is going to be my review of the Summer’s biggest blockbuster Superman Returns-

I held high, high expectations for this movie. I’m talking Batman Begins/Spider-Man expectations. They were not met, but it was unfair for me to think a movie could be as good as those too. Overall it’s a good movie, but I have seen better. The best word to describe it is: Random. The casting was great, the plot was horrible and random. The movie pretty much goes as follows: Superman returns from a five year absence (he was traveling the universe looking for Krypton) he comes back to a world that welcomes him back with open arms, except for Lois (who now has a fiancé and a son). Superman’s arch enemy, Lex Luthor (played brilliantly by Kevin Spacey) find Superman’s fortress of solitude and steals five crystals from it that, when combined with water, will grow a Kyrptonian like land mass that will destroy everything it its way. His plan is to grow a ton of this land, enough so that it takes out all the major land masses of the world so he can control all the land. A few issues with this, first he has the same exact plan almost in Superman I (he wants to blow up coast of California to make all the cheap inland land he bought up ocean front property. That was a much more realistic plot). But the Kyrptonian land that grows is all crazy rock and crystals, with no life on it and there are always storm clouds above it. So who would want to live there? Also, if he kills billions of people who will be his customers? Plot holes people, plus the plot is really stupid. The movie is two and a half hours long and at the end you feel like nothing was really accomplished. However most of my review sounds negative, its still fun to see on the big screen. The casting is great; Routh (Iowa baby) plays a very good Superman/Clark Kent (think Christopher Reeves clone), Bosworth is solid (and hot) and the movie doesn’t lag. For all this I’m going to give it 3 out of 5 stars which is a good review, I just expected better. Its safe to say my expectations were unfair.

Well kids that is all I have for today, check back in later.

Enter the Matrix

Enough with it all! The constant Shawn Marion trade rumors have always bugged me, but it is starting to get ridiculous. In delusional Suns fans long list of complaints about Marion only a few of them made sense, only one seemed like really that big of a deal, he didn’t perform in the playoffs. I don’t see how this can be said anymore; he put the Suns on his back in some big games in the playoffs. For all the things he does, scores points, rebounds plays solid defense (although he is an overrated one on one defender) people all seem to want to look at his very few flaws which are, he is a max player (not a flaw of his own, and any team in the league would pay max to have Marion), he doesn’t create his own shot (does he really need to when you have a two time MVP point guard?), he cant dribble and that is about it. People seem to come up with other random things that are so minor no one should really care. If Marion made 10 million dollars a year no one would talk about trading him, so 5 million dollars makes people want to trade him for 75 cents on the dollar? This is a player who never gets hurt, never gets in to off the court trouble, says all the right things and never passes up an opportunity to play for this country. He is also a good guy, I’ve witnessed this first hand. Another thing, Shawn Marion is one of the most entertaining suns ever! Have you ever heard an interview with this man? If they put all his interviews on DVD I would be the first to buy this DVD. Then his random comments about how he could score 35 points a game if he got the ball more, or whenever he has a bad game he just blames the fact that he doesn’t get the ball enough (he says these things yet they never really come into play on the court, it has never been a problem). Also about 99% of the trade rumors I hear about him or horrible trades that no one would ever do. Let me go over a few I have heard lately:

Marion for Tyson Chandler and the #2- Are you kidding me? Who are you gonna take #1 that is gonna be better than Morrison? Brining in Chandler might help on defense, but he would not fit on the team.

Marion for Charlie Villanueva and the #1- Puhhhlease, see above trade scenario.

Marion to the Bulls for Kirk Hinirch and the #2- So the Suns should get smaller?

The latest rumor I heard that started all this is Marion, Barbosa and the #27 to Seattle for Rashard Lewis, Danny Fortson and the #10. This is the best Marion trade scenario I’ve read about (minus Marion for Garnett, more on that later) but I still wouldn’t do it. Sure the Suns will have some money problems soon, sure Rashard Lewis would be an amazingly perfect fit for the Suns offense its still not worth it to part with two key members of a WCF team. Yeah moving up 17 spots is nice, but this draft doesn’t seem great enough to really justify giving up Marion and Barbosa. Also there is no way in hell Fortson comes here; he and the Suns are not on the best terms.

Finally the only Shawn Marion trade rumor that I heard that has ever made sense was Marion for Garnett straight up. This is the only one that I would do (but I would be very sad to see Marion go) and it would never happen anyway. What, would the T-Wolves team revolve around Marion and Ricky Davis?

So finally I must say, DON’T trade Marion and stop talking about it. Shut up and enjoy watching a phenomenal one of a kid basketball player who gives it his all, is never hurt, goes up against guys much bigger than him, goes 20-10 and wont hesitate to tell you everything that I just told you.

Because as Shawn Marion would say, “asjdfkasjk haha, know what I’m sayin?”

Dwyane Jordan?

If you would have told me in mid-March the Miami Heat would be NBA champions I would have doubted it, but while saying anything could happen when you have Shaq and Dwyane Wade on your team. Lets fast forward to Game three, Dallas up 13 with 6 minutes left. Are we looking at a sweep? The something happened that might have shifted the NBA Earth off its Axis, Dwyane Wade transformed into Michael Jordan.
Now I am one guy who HATES MJ comparisons. Some players like Harold Miner, Vince Carter, Tracy McGrady have all been compared to Jordan. Most of these guys that get the Jordan comparison are just great scorers, the media doesn’t seem to realize no one can match Jordan’s drive and competitiveness. Dwyane Wade just did, I’m not trying to say he is Jordan but he sure has hell played like Jordan during the Heat’s four straight victories. I remember working in 2004 when the Heat were in the NBA playoffs and Wade was a rookie and a group of kids came in and told me he was the next Jordan. “Hey I like Wade, but stop making Jordan comparisons, “was along the lines of something I said. Who knew they would be right three years later? From the crazy shots, to the sure desire to win to taking his team on his back Wade was in Jordan’s class that finals. He is not, however, in Jordan’s career class yet. However he is better than Kobe (not the team player he could be) and better than Lebron (who is more of a Magic Jordan type). Before I put Wade up on this GIANT pedestal I would like to point out that Jordan would NEVER have missed two free throws late in a game like that. Jason Terry had one hell of a look at the end of the game but shouldn’t that ball go to Dirk at all costs? P.S. I am so glad Jason Terry didn’t win. I dislike the “Jet” with a passion.
You have to love Karma, which is the biggest reason outside of Wade that the Mavs lost. Their level of whining about officiating rivaled the Sacramento Kings circa 2002 (and me after game 4 of the Lakes-Suns series. However let me defend myself and say that was the only time I’ve blamed officials for a loss and I feel stupid that I did it). Hey refs don’t cost you four games in a row, so deal with it Cuban (as much as I like Cuban I couldn’t help to be happy he lost the NBA finals. His act grows old when there is no other basketball story to focus on).
Did 1996 Alonzo Mourning step out of a time machine for the game tonight? He was all over the place, but I was also afraid he was going to die on the court. I think Zo gave every bit of energy he possibly had left in his body to play the way he did tonight. Me thinks retirement for him now.
Finally I type the last sentence doing my impression of the Miami Heat PA announcer, who is hands down the most annoying man in the business.
DYYYYYYYYwane WAAAAAAAAAde was HUUUUUUUUUge IIIIIIIIn thIIIIIIIIIIIs sEEEEEEEEEEries. IIIIIIIIIII cAAAAAAAAAAAnt

Okay you get the point, man he goes to town on the first vowel in every word he says.

My parting shot is with Shaq, only 13.7ppg in the finals yet he still won another ring. I am happy for him, but still you gotta wonder. Wade gets all the credit for this ring; easily Kobe could have gotten all the credit had he been on the team. Looks like Kobe never should have gotten rid of Shaq.
This was the best NBA finals in a while, about 100000000000000000000000000000000000000 times better than the one last year. The NBA playoffs were great this year, lets hope next year is even better (ie Suns title).

Complete, Super, Udder Randomness

Loyal readers may remember some past complete randomness blogs, but I give you the first ever Complete, Super, Udder Randomness Blog. I have so many things that mean nothing to write about I combined them into one super blog that will take over the very world YOU live in.
You must excuse me so long for not updating the blog, I wrote a nice long blog about the past three movies I watched but it didn’t save and pretty much killed my will to live. Anyway I start this off with three quick movie reviews-

The Da Vinci Code-
Its long and slow and that’s about all you need to know. You know its going to be rough when the movie is 2 ½ hours long and it still leaves out almost all the back story of the book. One of my biggest pet peeves about the movie was Professor Langdon (Tommy Hanks) cracks these incredible hard codes in nanoseconds. He seems to have epiphanies at will. In the book they spend pages upon pages trying to figure out what the code meant, so it meant something when they finally figured it out. In the movie its just Tom Hanks figuring stuff out instantly. The worst was a scene were they most go to London to find “a knight A Pope interred”. In the book they sneak into a library and go through tons of documents trying to figure it out, in the movie they spend two seconds on google on an internet cell phone and boom! They figure it out
2 out of 5 stars

X-3-
Overall not a bad movie, but it was the worst of the bunch. They movie basically centers around Wolverine and Strom (I wonder if this has anything to do with Hugh Jackman and Halle Berry?). In the comics the main storylines never revolved around them, but it the third one its all them all the time. No more team work, no more Cyclops (who was left dead by all three movies, I think if the studios had it their way they wouldn’t use him at all), Prof X plays a minor role, so does Rogue. Its pretty much the Wolverine, Storm, Jean Grey, Magneto show. Overall the movie is not that bad, but it’s a far cry from the first two which were excellent.
2 ½ out of 5 stars

Poseidon-
I never thought I would see this movie in the theater but it’s really not that bad. The storyline is simple, a title wave capsizes a cruise ship and a few lucky people try to find their way to the surface of the boat and escape. It stars Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Richard Dryfuess (spell check) and some other people who I recognize but names I don’t remember. It also has Kevin Dillion in it, who seemed to be on load straight from Entourage (he played a guy named Lucky Larry, but he basically was Johnny Drama he even had the mustache.) The movie is nothing great, but entertaining none the least.
3 out of 5 stars


I have not got a chance to touch on the D-Backs sense the Suns season ended. You have to love the D-Backs timing. They play great ball all throughout the Suns great postseason run and no one notices. Once the Suns get eliminated they proceed to: Lose seven straight games, activate Russ Ortiz and watch him pitch so horribly they cut him and eat 22 MILLION DOLLARS (Rob Neyer recently released a book called The Big Book of Baseball Blunders, you gotta believe if he would have waited Russ Ortiz might be in the book. 4 years 32 million dollars for 5-15 with a 7 era.) They also have one of their players busted in a performance enhancing drug scam. We can chalk the past week up to probably the worst week in Diamondbacks history. But hey, they ended the streak against the Giants so all is good in life.


Dwayne Wade single handedly saved the Heat’s season last night, but I really don’t think he can do it for 3 more games which is what he is going to need to do. Mavs in 5. All the media people seemed to be blinded by Shaq, Wade and Riely and didn’t realize that the Mavs absolutely OWN the Heat (the Suns would have too. Which makes me want to cry, the Suns could have been NBA champs this year). I also wonder, when did the NBA add the You Cant Touch Dirk Rule? I’m just wondering, I’ve flipped through the rule book and can’t find it. It must be hidden in the back.

After watching almost every 90s game of the ESPN classic NBA finals marathon it had me thinking. I’ve run into a few people in my travels that will tell me Magic was the best player ever, better than Jordan. While Magic was a great player, that’s not true. No one had as much talent and the competitive drive that Jordan did. Anyway to prove my point I just point to the 1991 NBA finals. Now I know showtime was older, but in Jordan and Magic’s only head to head matchup Jordan won 4 games to 1 which also included the Bulls wining three straight games at the Great Western Forum. That’s a pretty convincing statement (the Bulls also went 15-2 in the playoffs that year). So I will point to the 91 finals in my argument that Jordan is the best player ever (for those few that think Magic is).

Going to the Dbacks-Giants game tonight, $1 dollar hot dogs!! How many can I eat? I’m putting the over/under at 4.

Off I go to spend my lazy summer day either by the pool, at the gym, at work, playing oblivion or Mario Kart or watching TV. Summer rules!

Thud

It all came crashing down with a big, giant, unforgiving thud. The Suns were walking on air the first half, playing amazing, when they play that way no one can beat them . . . . except the Mavericks did. Talk about a game of two halves. Was fatigue a factor? I read somewhere the Suns were up at halftime in 5 of the 6 games this series, but that really does not mean anything. They played some bad fourth quarters though, I think injuries and fatigue caught up with them. The Raja Bell injury was so killer, he had been playing so well and the Suns lost both games without him. He came back in game 4, gave a huge emotional lift and the Suns won but the next two games he couldn't move, couldn't play his game and it stripped the Suns of maybe their best playoff performer as of late. Lets run down the fact sheet:

Fact- Amazing season, no Amare and they actually go further than last year
Fact- Seeing Diaw and Barbosa become very good players was alot of fun
Fact- Best postseason run since 92-93, team played with crazy heart, scrapped and fought their way to the WCF.
Fact- THey lost to a better team

Reality- Despite the above reasons, the loss still hurt. It hurt bad, about 1,000 times worse than losing game 5 to the Spurs last year because everyone knew that season was over anyway. This year was the best chance they had in a long time to win a championship, no Spurs or Pistons standing in their way. The Suns had pretty much owned the Heat this year. Overall though after watching this team fight so hard, come back, make huge shots, defy odds, the yayos, the game seven's, the trash talk, the new found swagger (the team may have trouble with D, but they are not SOFT) the blown kisses, when all that ended last night it was incredibly hard to take. Another season has gone, how much longer can Nash play so great? Can Amare come back to form? The future looks bright, but sooner or later the future becomes the present and their window is not going to last forever.

On Shawn Marion (who had a great season, from averaging 21 and 10, to making crazy commercials, to countless funny interviews and bitching about his lack of respect) I really wish people would stop talking trade with him (unless it is to motivate him). People point out his flaws so much and are never quick to say good things about him. He was not the best playoff performer coming into this year but this year he played great, played a ton of minutes, guarded the likes of Lamar Odom, Kobe Bryant, Sam Cassell, Elton Brand, Josh Howard and Dirk and still managed to score about 20-25 a game and pull down 10-15 rebounds a game (I think he took down about 16 a game against the Mavs). Marion is a stud, no trades, just let him play alongside Amare and Diaw next year.

Thanks Suns for a great year, it just really sucks its over. They lost and I still don't believe it, it just seems like they have to come back somehow.

Farewell Cottonwood House

I must apologize for being a week late on this blog, I would say I have things to do but its summer now and my days consist of being really bored. Last Saturday night, May 20th consisted of the last party and the send off to the famed Cottonwood House. It was appropriately named One Last Call and it was one hell of a party. It was also a sad event, because it ended the three year run of the house that pretty much defined my college experience and a lot of other people that I know. The kids that live in it, Bjorn, Ed, Matt, Josh and Jermey are moving out.
The house was nice, but also a shithole, just your perfect college house. Most of the time the floor was very dirty, it smelled, beer bottles were everywhere, the backyard full of weeds and the pool water was some god awful color that definitely wasn’t blue (part of a Room Raiders episode was taped their recently because Ed was on the show. The girl had an open wound, stuck her hand in the water and needless to say bad, bad things happened). So way was this house great? Because it was college. It was were everyone hung out, were everyone met up before going out for the night, and were the best parties I have ever attended were thrown.
I remember the first party, way back in September 27, 2003. Why do I remember the exact date? Because the party was so good it was deemed: 9/27/03 never forget. I was only a sophomore in college, but it still ranks as the best party I have ever been to in my life. I think around 400 people were crammed into that house partying the night away. I’m not sure we knew what that night had started; I think we all had too much to drink to ever really know.
Parties were thrown once every three months I say, big parties that is (not counting the small “box socials” that were just as fun). Charging five dollars at the door for guys always made the guys that lived there some good money (or at least enough to cover the Kegs. All I know is I never had to pay). Let’s not forget the video game machine near the kitchen that had great trivia games like erotic trivia, a great game to play in the middle of a good party. Things got a little tougher to deal with when the party ordinance was passed by Tempe. The original law was once the cops came to a house to break up a party they issued a warning and if they had to come back within 12 hours it was a fine. Well the ordinance upped that from 12 hours to 90 days. That’s right 90 FREAKING days! This put a limit on the parties to about three a year. Heck all the cops in Tempe seemed to know about the place, I think one even knew Bjorn by name by the time it was all said and done.
The party flyers were great, usually brilliant creations by Ed and Bjorn. The flyers usually boasted a “Bjornstock” or a “Booyafest” and made ridiculous promises like “DJ Matpac on the wheels to steel”, “Sykokore Reunion show”, “8 kegs” and “no functioning toilet.”
Best moments I can remember from over the years? I remember being under 21 while the Cops were in the house hiding in Bjorn’s room with Ed, proclaiming that if a cop came in the room I would “protect Ed’s political career.” I remember another times the Cops came and five black guys bolted over the fence which sparked Justin to say, “Those black guys sure know how to run from the cops.” I also remember when the cops came some guy had a full pitcher of beer and rather than toss it he started to pound it while the Cop stood right next to him. That is the greatest thing I have ever seen. In fact I think all those happened during the same party. I remember playing countless drinking games, meeting tons of awesome people, and acquiring some great college memories along the way. Everyone I ever met in college was usually at these parties, so for a few nights every year it actually seemed like I knew a lot of people. So I’ll miss the makeshift dance floor, arguing random sports topics with random people, all the memories, all the funny stories that were told a few days afterwards, all the drunk people that made fools of themselves, and all the people I got a chance to meet, have a drink, share a laugh and have an overall good time with while I was in college. So when I went to the last party last Saturday, I was kind of sad but ready to have one last good time. I saw most of the familiar faces, drank and danced the night away and drank a little to much. So when I finally got home after the party at about 3 am I ended my ten year run of no puking. Maybe not the most storybook ending, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ll miss the Cottonwood house, here is hoping its tradition lives on.

P.S. A few party memories (and house) I forgot to mention:
The entire boom squad gang yelling “Boom Squad” at the top of our lungs for like an hour straight.
The Booyafest pumpkin I carved for the Booyafest that took place a week before Halloween.
The beers were always ¾ foam
Some guy who thought he was Andre of Outkast started to recite the entire “Hey Ya” when it came on during one party and a very drunk Matt Cock battling him with hilarious results.
Back before bars and before any of us were 21 when the house was the best way for us to drink and hang out.
X-Mas break 2003 when we played non stop Mario Kart, NCAA football and Tecmo Super Bowl all break long (that will go down as my best Christmas break ever).
All the Halo
All the beer pong and other drinking games
I know I am forgetting stuff, for those that read this and can think of anything I am forgetting leave a comment with your memories. If not that’s cool I am being over sentimental right now, but hey its my damn blog!

I guess that’s all I have, all good things come to an end sometime. If the Cottonwood House was a TV show, last Saturday would have been the series finale.

Running Down a Dream

So here we go again, another Western Conference finals and another tough playoff series versus the Mavs. It boggles my mind that this Suns team has found their way into the WCF. Without Amare they were supposed to be done, without Kurt Thomas they really had no shot in the playoffs. When is the last time a team that played two guards and three small forwards has made it to the WCF? It just goes to show how the NBA is changing, with the lack of big men it is becoming smaller much like college ball. Much like March Madness these NBA playoffs have been great. Now we have two solid mach ups in the conference finals.
I can’t believe this is the same team that was down 3-1 verse the Lakers that seems like ages ago. They have played great ever since then, and have played in some very tough games. Beating the Lakers was great and I didn’t expect them to beat the Clippers, however the Suns just came out gunning again and played game 7 verses the Clips just like they played verse the Lakers. I guess the Suns just own LA basketball teams. Can the Suns beat the Mavs? I don’t think so, but I didn’t think they would beat the Clippers. They could beat the Mavs and they seem to play the them well. I think it will be a great series and if Kurt Thomas can return to form he will give the suns MUCH needed rebounding and defense. I know the Suns are up to the challenge, Shawn Marion has already stated, “I’ve got Dirk.” Good to hear, Marion can D up Dirk very well. It may seem crazy but it’s easier for him to guard Dirk than it is Brand, Dirk is a better scorer but he is not as punishing as Brand. Whoever Nash has to guard is going to dominate. He can’t stay with Devin Harris or Jason Terry. It’s going to be interesting and I won’t make any predictions. I’m just going to sit back and watch the Suns run down a dream.

I want to touch on the Mavs-Spurs series, people have been calling this one of the greatest series of all time. Sadly I had to move, had cable problems and was unable to see games 4 and 5 and missed probably the two best games of the series. I missed Jason Terry taking over in OT of game four and his ulitmiate "jumanji" of Michael Finley in game 5 (actually Reggie Evans was still worse. Terry just punched, Evans grabbed and pulled.) I think everyone was sure the Spurs had that game won after Manu hit that three. Mark Cuban thought it was done. So why the HELL does Manu try and contest that Dirk shot with the Spurs up three with less than 24 seconds left? That is top ten most bonehead moves I have ever seen. Say what you want about the no call on Duncan, you can directly point to Manu's mega error as what cost the Spurs their shot at a repeat (that and destiny, the Spurs will never repeat. They will win it all next year, but they will never repeat. Maybe Detroit and the Spurs will trade championships for the next five years. I sure hope not). So who is going to be in the NBA finals? Well the chic pick seems to be the Heat will beat the Pistons. I'll go against the "experts" and pick the team that is so obivously going to win. I think the Mavs will beat the Suns, but I'm not going to make a prediction. I just don't know.

2nd Annual TV Awards Blog

So I finally moved and I now have internet connection back! My new place: Wilshire Pines, or the Shire as we folks like to call it. More on this later though, it’s the end of the TV season and I have to give my second annual TV awards blog. Before I start I want to touch on the season finale of the OC, and the series finale of That 70s Show.

So Marissa is dead, I have to give props to Justin for calling this. The minute he saw the preview saying someone would die he predicted Marissa’s death and even predicted Catlin would take over the show, which it looks like she might. I really wish they would not have broadcast the fact that someone died though, because that could have been the most shocking season finale ever. I don’t think I have ever seen a hit show kill off one of their main characters after just three seasons! I’ve heard every rumor why the OC did this, ranging from Mischa Barton wanted to explore a movie career to the OC didn’t want her back. What are they going to do next year? How was Catlin going to be involved? I’m sad Marissa is gone, she is the reason I started watching the show. Midway through season two I heard rumors of the lesbian action she was about to get involved in and started watching and I have been watching ever since. The show won’t be the same, I just don’t know what to think.

Preceding the OC season finale was That 70s Show series finale. I always make it a point to watch series finales, even if I don’t really watch that show anymore. I just like to see how shows wrap up their long, successful runs. For anyone who has been watching, that 70s show really ended last season when Eric and Kelso left. Kelso came back with about 15 minutes left in the hour long episode and Eric returned with about five minutes left. That was their first mistake, because once Erick and Kelso walked so screen the show, which has been lost all year, felt instantly right again. However the whole cast was only together for five total minutes and it was not even that good of a scene. Every great series finale always has that finale scene where you can see the emotion in the actor and actress’ eyes and you know for sure that this is the finale scene ever. With tonight’s finale there was no grand final scene, just some random scene were they are all in their famous circle and then the credits rolled. Overall it was really disappointing and it did not wrap up the series well at all. But enough negativity, That 70s show started when I was in high school back in 1998 and lasted until my last year in college in 2006. It has been a great show, with an incredible rewatchablity factor. It will easily find a place in my top ten sitcoms of all time list.

Finally I want to continue with my TV awards for this past season, not including 24 or Lost because I don’t watch those shows (not that I don’t want to watch, I just don’t have the time). So to recap, these are from shows that I watch not every show on TV.

Best New Show: My Name Is Earl, NBC.

Runner Up: How I Met Your Mother CBS; Invasion ABC.

It was tough to decide between Mother and Earl, but in the end I have never seen a show quite like My Name Is Earl before. I can’t believe NBC finally found a smart, funny, witty comedy that they didn’t can after five episodes. The premise is so unbelievably simple it’s great. It has good characters, good supporting cast and its very charming. NBC finally has a couple of hit comedies on Thursday night again with Earl and the Office.

The Vince Carter Award for “Can be great when it tries, which is 10% of the time”:

Smallville, WB.

I still love this show, however it can bet very pointless at times. But when they focus on episodes involving Clark’s destiny (usually the season premiers, finales and a few ones in-between) it is the best show on TV.

The New Show that is so Horribly Bad its Very Funny Award: Yo Mamma, MTV.

Okay I have only seen this show once or twice and it is the worst show to ever hit cable TV. However it is so bad it’s funny. It’s hosted by Fez and the object of the show is two guys battle it out with insults. During one episode when Fez told the guys to come with their best insults one guy actually said, “Your house is so small we ordered a pizza and had to eat it outside.” I mean is that really an insult? Fez loved it, then he called a conference with his two random friends and after agonizing over a decision declared that guy a winner.

The “My Career Was Saved by a Random Cameo” Award: Neil Patrick Harris, Barney on How I Met Your Mother.

NPH somehow parleys a random cameo in a movie about two guys who are so high they want to go to White Castle into a sitcom role that just might land him a best character award from me sometime in the near future. I love this man.

The Roller Coaster Award: The Office, NBC.

Its first season was so incredibly great that the 2^nd one could not possibly live up to it. The start of the second season was bad, but it finished strong. Its easily NBC’s best show.

Farewell to: Invasion, ABC; That 70s Show, FOX; Will and Grace, NBC.

I already touched on That 70s Show and I don’t care about Will and Grace. Invasion was so damn good it’s a shame ABC cancelled it. However it rode Lost’s coattails. I don’t watch Lost so this is probably a dumb thing to say, but if Invasion aired two years ago before Lost was ever around I think it would have stayed and been a huge hit. But everyone watches Lost instead and they don’t want to sit around for another Lost like drama (that moves really, really slow by the way). I loved it however and I will miss it.

Best Mini-Series: Into the West, TNT.

Talk about saving my summer by giving me something to watch. Into the West is the best mini series ever.

Now for the Big Awards:

Best Character/Actor:

Nominees: Charlie Sheen, Charlie Harper, Two and a Half Men; Ethan Suplee, Randy Hickey, My Name is Earl; Kevin Dillion, Johnny Drama, Entourage; Jermey Piven, Ari Gold, Entourage.

Winner: Johnny Drama

Okay I am sure some of you saw this coming since I use Johnny Drama as the name for my fantasy Baseball and Football teams. You gotta give it up to the guy, consistently funny, crazy guy who is just awesome. For a while during Entourage’s summer run Kevin Dillion became bigger than Matt Dillion. At one point during the summer Taylor even called him the, “new Cosmo Kramer.” That alone makes you a shoo in for character of the year in my book.

Show of the Year:

Nominees: Two and a Half Men, CBS; Entourage, HBO; Scrubs, NBC;

Disclaimer: I never nominate first year shows for show of the year, unless they are just insanely kick ass. The only first year show I can ever think of that would have won the award was Ed if I was doing this blog back then.

Winner: Entourage

What can I say? The show is funny, cool, super hip, it looks into the private life of a celebrity, has memorable characters, great actors and cool guest stars. I could not wait for every Sunday night last summer to watch the show. It was also helped that it was on during the summer and had no competition. I want to point out that it took me a very loooooooong time to decide between Entourage and Two and a Half Men. It was that close of a race. Scrubs is on the nominee list because if I had to chose only one show to watch it would be Scrubs, but I go by more of what happened during the past year instead of what show is my absolute favorite. I like to remain somewhat journalistic (even though I don’t watch Lost, 24 or the Sopranos which every good TV critic probably should).

Well I hope you enjoyed me TV awards. Please leave me comments on what you think of my awards, what shows you think should have won (doesn’t have to be ones listed), thoughts on the OC, or anything! Just start leaving me comments! Only my aunt and the Large have had the moxy to leave me comments, so lets see you all step up to the plate! Or don’t, its actually not that big of a deal.

Later kids.

Welcome Back Matrix!

Clark Kent could change into Superman in a split second, all he had to do was find that phone booth and BOOM! Superman he was. For Shawn Marion, well he usually takes about two games into a playoff series to change into the Matrix (sometimes the Matrix doesn’t show up, example being the 2005 Western Conference Finals). He arrived big time in the crucial game three tonight, playing 47 minutes while scoring 32 points, grabbing 19 rebounds and adding four steals. Don’t forget one epic halftime interview; I think the exact quote was: “Come on man, sahdjkaskldfjklj you know what I’m sayin? Hahaha.”

Friday night’s game was one of the weirder ones I’ve seen. After coming out and just outrunning the Clips in the first game, the Clippers came back in game two and blew out the suns while grabbing about 100 more rebounds than the Suns. The Suns did some interesting things in game three, like switching Shawn Marion onto Cassell (2-10, 6pts) and playing all world defense on Elton Brand (7-17, 20pts 9reb). Yet Nash plays a bad game and the Suns shoot just 37% yet they eke out a victory thanks to the appearance of the Matrix and Steve Nash’s game winner. As much as the Rad Man wanted this game, it was a HUGE win for the suns. The Suns finally won a game decided by three points or less and grinded it out in a defensive minded game. That’s a good sign.

I also didn’t see a whole lot of the game, missed the entire 3^rd quarter due to an epic four player, 40 wrestler battle royal played by Bjorn, Justin, Easy E and I on N64’s WCW/NWO Revenge (best wrestling video game ever, also played during halftime/third quarter was NBA Showtime. PS I won the Battle Royal!). Although we were watching the 4^th quarter of the game, we weren’t watching it intensely like we should have been because a somehow we got into a heated debate about the X-Men. If you don’t know who I am you may have read the last two sentences and think I am about 12 years old, you’re wrong I’m 21 and loving it!

Bottom line is the chips were down for the Suns, no one could shoot and even Brian Grant got onto the court somehow. How did the Suns win this game? Look, up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s the MATRIX!!!!

Yayo

I dont have much else to say, other than this picture is awesome. I guess I better touch on the Suns-Lakers game 7 while I am at it. I was surprised the Lakers got blown out, I really was. I dont buy into all this Kobe quit stuff, the game was over in the 1st quarter. When I was very angry at Game 4 I wrote in the blog how frustrated I was with the Lakers "luck." They seemed to get every loose ball, make crazy shots and all their role players that played unspectacular during the regular season were playing great in the postseason. Well it seems like after game four the breaks started to even out and those role players fell back to Earth and that is the main reason the Suns won (that and the Brazilian Barbosa. Well actually his nickname is the Brazilian Blur but Kevin Harlan keeps wanting to call him the Brazilian Barbosa.) It was good to see the Suns carry their momentum into the 1st game against the Clippers last night. Its gotta suck for the Clippers to shoot 60% and score 123 points and lose by seven. I'm still not sure how that happened. Lets hope for many more yayos in the future.

Incredi-Series

It is what it is, an incredi-series. I underestimated the Lakers and I think a lot of Suns fans did. I thought the series would be done in five (Suns winning), but who would have foreseen the Lakers completely changing their game? Who would have guessed that Lamar Odom would start playing like a taller Scottie Pippen? Who would have thought Kobe would stop jacking? Who would have though Phil was start coaching great, oh wait he always coaches great. I hope this puts to rest the whole, "he just has great players" argument. The guy can coach. Just a few days ago the Suns where basically done and I was mega frustrated (as evidence by my post just a few seconds after the game. I would completely retract the post but I like the Gay Laker picture. So Ill retract most everything I said in it. I still think the Suns got screwed with the call, but everything else Ill retract).

Most everyone thought the Suns where done (all the stupid Laker fans that came into the store did, I have a feeling the real Laker fans where not totally sure the series was over). I must say I did seem like an unusual amount of articles came out about the “Hallway Series” in the past week. America writing you off is always good for motivation, not saying everyone wrote of the Suns however. After the Suns lost that tough game 4 I told Justin the suns where gonna win the series, I sure as hell didn’t believe it, I was just saying it. However it really doesn’t surprise me that this series is going to a game seven and how can it the way it’s gone? Anything could happen on Saturday Night. Kobe could go for 100. Lamar Odom could hit up the chronic during half time a la that guy from the old Playmaker series. Smush Parker might wake up and realize he really is a five year old kid dreaming. Tim Thomas could challenge anyone on the Lakers to a dark off and win easily (Kwame Brown would be the best match up for him). Kobe and Raja could hug it out, or Raja could come to the game strapped and start firing caps at the Lakers bench. To use a TNT tagline “now this is drama!”

Game Six was one of those games; I guess it was to Suns fans what game four was to Laker fans. Playing without Raja (very stupid foul on his part in game five but it did spark and awesome war of words between the two. Plus it led to the classic Raja “That’s your foul” comment to the Zen Master and Kobe’s “Who is this kid, do I know this kid?” and “He needs a hug” comeback. By the way, the Tim Thomas contract watch is up to 8 million a year if you factor in Isaiah its probably close to the A-Rod contract (even though that wouldn’t be allowed by the NBA). After Tim Thomas hits that mega three (which he followed up with a yayo, which made it more awesome) I was happy, but I was 100% sure Kobe was hitting the game winner. There was not a doubt in my mind, the only time I can remember saying out loud a tie game involving the Suns was over and I truly meant it. I can’t believe Kobe missed that shot, unbelievable. Then Kobe steps straight out of NBA jam in OT and starts raining in “on fire” shots to make the Suns very uncomfortable despite their very comfortable lead. Nash played amazing; maybe we can make both these guys MVP?

Brilliant to watch, this series is just amazing. Its physical, both teams don’t like each other, there has been trash talk, crazy endings, controversy, big shots hit by both teams, and two great players at their absolute peak battling it out in an all out war. I would have to say this is the most entertaining basketball series since the Lakers-Kings 2002 Western Finals. This is playoff basketball; if the Suns win game seven then the rest of the NBA playoffs will be like playing on house money. They could win on Saturday night and lose to the Clippers in four and I really wouldn’t care (well I would but you know what I mean). Just amazing, a great series and I don’t think my heart can take a game seven, but its going to have too.

Best part of Game Six that didn’t involve game winning shots and OT? TNT comes back from break and a guy has two cardboard cutouts, one says KO the other says BE. He holds it up but the KO is backwards so it reads OK and the BE is upside down so it reads upside down EB. So the sign said OKEB. Good old Laker fans. Also when the game ended and they went to the booth I ahve never seen Charles Barkley look so depressed. He must have lost at least $500,000 on the game. We all know Barkely roots against the Suns even though he loves them, but man that was so blatant in the post game. I seriously thought he was going to cry.

The Picture Blog ver 1.0

OKay I needed to cheer myself up, plus I had alot of hate in that last post. So I give you the light hearted, first ever Picture Blog. Here you have it:

What the hell are these refs looking at?


Your Two Time NBA MVP



Couldnt have a picture blog with out Ron Ron
in it. I couldnt find one of him forearming Manu



Can you believe it? He actually fell to AZ!


Come on, you know you're looking at the
best backcourt in NBA history. Or at least the
most entertaining.





Thats Wild Homo.

The Lakers are Gay

I have not been able to update my blog in a few days because I have been busy. But I am going to write a quick blurb on this Suns-Lakers series, try and make it brief so it does not deteriorate into F-bombs galore. The Lakers are so freaking LUCKY. They have gotten EVERY break this series (I’m not talking about officiating, I’m talking about loose balls, Suns shots going in and out, Smush Parker playing a typical Smush Parker type game, going 1-10, then hitting a miracle three.). So when they steal the ball of Nash twice in the last seconds of regulation and OT it shouldn’t have surprised me.

How they called a jump ball instead of a Nash TO is BEYOND me. I guess the Lakers are just that lucky. Then you know the Suns were not going to get the tip, I mean I seriously knew because the Lakers get every break. When Kobe got the ball the whole world knew he was not going to miss. Luck is not the reason the Lakers are up 3-1, its because the Suns lake of size is killing them. And it is because the Lakers completely changed their offensive game plan before start of the series (if Kobe played this way the whole season he can damn well bet he would have been MVP). Every time I see Kurt Thomas and Amare on the bench in street clothes I want to cry, I seriously do. Why did Amare have to get hurt? Argh I don’t want to go there, I’m not trying to play the injury card. I am just pissed off, you guys know. You would be pissed two if you were a Suns fan and the other team you were facing got every break in the book. If that other team had shitty players start playing good (Kwame Brown, Sasha something and Luke Walton). You would be mad if every loose ball materialized into Lamar Odom’s hands (did Phil ask him to pretend the Ball was cocaine? Is he just so coked out of his mind that’s the reason he is playing this well). I’m sorry Laker fan, I am extremely pissed. Congratulations on another storied playoff performance, ill just tack on another sad playoff performance to the Suns history. My hate for the Lakers will die instantly once this series is over (regardless of who wins) but not my hate for Smush Parker.

I want to clear all anger and frustration out of my head to make two points: A) Kobe playing this way is better than him taking 50 shots a game. He has been amazing and he needs to keep playing this way. B) Raja Bell is a stud and I would say he plays Kobe better than anyone in the league. He at least plays him better than Ruben Patterson.

This really sucks . . .