Snakes on a Plane

“I've had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane!”

How can you not like a movie with a quote like that? I think this is my new favorite quote of all time, seriously. Think what you can incorporate it to be? I have it with these mother fucking _____ on this mother fucking _____. The possibilities are endless.
When I first saw the trailer for this movie, well I knew it was going to be good. The movie is intentionally bad, to the point that it is just absolutely hilarious. The movie starts off in Hawaii where we are treated to about 20 minutes of footage that is devoid of snakes or planes, but hey you gotta set up the story right? What did you expect (or in my case hoping for) snakes right off the bat? The movie starts off with Sean Jones witnessing a murderer committed by criminal mastermind Eddie Kim. Never mind the fact that Kim beats a district attorney to death with a baseball bat out in the open in broad daylight, this guy is a criminal mastermind. When he finds out who witnessed him he decided Sean must die. FBI agent Nelville Flynn (Sam Jackson) is entrusted with the duty to protect Sean on his cross ocean flight to LA to testify as a witness against Kim. Kim is such a mastermind that instead of arranging one of your usual “hits” he decides to load up his plane with an all-star cast of poisonous snakes (its like the 1992 Dream Team of snakes, Cobras, Rattlesnakes, galore).
This is when we are treated to the delightful crew and passengers of the plane. This is another all-star crew of airline and horror movie stereotypes. There is the flight attendant Claire Miller (Julianna Margulies) who is on her very last flight before she takes a new job. Let’s not forget the nervous flyer, the honeymooning couple, the lady with a baby (“Oh God my baby! My baby!”), snooty foreign business man that takes a remarkably long time to die (but they finish him in such a fantastic way), couple who wants to join the mile high club, the chauvinistic pilot (Champ from Anchorman fame), kickboxing Asian guy and rich girl with little dog in her purse.
Shortly after the flight takes off we are treated to the giant box of snakes that has a timer on it waiting to release them. So we have a countdown to snakes timer, this is just a great touch. The closer to zero it gets, the more excited the crowd at the movie seemed to get. Once the snakes are released we are treated to some truly awesome snake vision (apparently snakes see in all green and their vision is very blurred). These snakes attack in every which way to get a laugh, they go for tits, dicks, through eyes, out of mouths, and up ladies skirts. Its fabulous and 100% enjoyable.
The rest of the movie is spent watching Sam Jackson swear, regulate and kick some snake ass. He is perfect in this movie, playing his stereotypical Sam Jackson perfectly (I would hope he could). As more and more things go wrong and more obstacles arise you can see Sam Jackson starting to get frustrated. So when he unleashes his famous quote late in the movie you can’t help but laugh (or cry like I did, it was that funny). The quote comes towards the end and you will probably forget it is coming trying to digest what has been happening the last hour. It comes at a perfect time and it is a perfect quote.
I recommend this movie if you are looking for a good movie to sit back, drink a soda, eat some popcorn and just enjoy. Take it for what it is, a movie that has plot holes, so-so acting, cheesy quotes and CGI snakes. It was all intentional, and the movie lived up to every expectation I ever had for it.
Grade: A+