Election 08: Please Let it End!

The Presidential Election is a lot like the Super Bowl; a really compelling event with far too much hype. The Super Bowl only has two weeks of hype, Presidential Elections get close to a year of hype. I remember watching Barack Obama's victory speech after the Iowa Caucasus in January and cringing because I thought he was going to be assassinated. Now it is seven months later and nothing has been decided. The only thing that has changed is Hillary Clinton went from being anti-Obama to pro-Obama (sort of). Let me add onto my previous analogy, the Presidential Election is like the Super Bowl mixed in with a Survivor marathon. Thank goodness it only comes around once every four years.

You want to know the power of a Presidential Election? It makes a show like Saturday Night Live relevant (well, much more relevant). It has literally caused political comedians Steven Colbert and Jon Stewart to completely monopolize alternative media (cable news, blogging, youtube and other social networks as opposed to network news, which is sill operated by the CBS, NBC, ABC, FOX snooze fest, and newspapers) and it has allowed political analysts to enter our life.

Political analysts have become quasi celebrities during this election. I could see David Gergen chilling somewhere and get star struck, six months ago I wouldn't have given a shit who he was. The thing about analysts are, well we really have no idea where their interests lie. We can't trust Fox News analysts because they will always lean right (and by lean I mean fall over). MSNBC is home to ultra liberal Keith Olbermann, so they may favor liberals more. I usually trust CNN for my political analysis, but after the debate on Friday night they went to Joe Biden and a McCain senior advisor for their analysis. Really? Don't we already know what those two are going to say? I actually think David Gergen is the best analyst on TV, he doesn't have an agenda and has worked with both Democrats and Republicans during his career.

The best/worst thing about these analysts are their analogies. They are pointless! I am led to believe that all an analyst has to do is throw out a random analogy and people will assume they know what they are talking about. Sample set:

• "McCain knocked his VP selection out of the park"
• "This is an all-in move for McCain"
• "Obama is swinging for the fences on this stance"
• "Obama can’t go into four corners and try to the run the clock out. He's got to attack"
• "This is only round four of a prized title fight"
• "McCain dropped the ball here"
• "Obama's got the ball, know he's got to run with it."
• "The ball is in his court"
• "That was a knockout blow"

Argh! Am I watching ESPN? The whole political system, whether it be the politicians themselves or the media covering them, has become such a joke it is no wonder Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are two of the biggest names in the industry right now. These guys are talented of course, but when it comes to politics the material writes itself. Watch the Daily Show and you see Jon Stewart is not so much making unique jokes, he basically shows a clip of something and says "what the fuck?" to his audience. Stephen Colbert satires ultra conservative media members who put their foot in their mouths so often it is not really hard to find new material. I'm not diminishing what Colbert and Stewart have done, I am just pointing out the pointlessness of politics.

No more spin, no more coverage, no more analogies, let's just picking a fricking President already!