Happy Holidays! I Guess . . .

I have no idea what to say about this . . .

Charlie Wilson's War Review

Charlie Wilson’s War has received quite a bit of reward pub lately. It always throws me for a loop when movies get reward pub yet don’t come out in theaters until shortly before the award season. I wasn’t quite sure what this movie was when I went to see it, but I can say it is defiantly worth the pub.

Charlie Wilson’s War chronicles the true story of Congressman Charlie Wilson’s (Tom Hanks) effort to fund Afghanistan’s war against the Soviet Union in the 1980s. Wilson uses his position on the Subcommittee of Defense to fund a covert war against the Soviet Union. Wilson enlists the help of the rich and beautiful Joanne Henning (Julia Roberts) and the rough around the edges Gust Avrakotos (Phillip Seymour Hoffman). The movie sheds some historical light on a subject that not many people know about, and it also sheds some light on how people like Osama Bin Ladin came into power in today’s age.

Tom Hanks plays a great Charlie Wilson, who is a scotch drinking congressman with an affinity for loose women. He perfectly manages take the edge of serious moments of the movie with some great comedic touch. Phillip Seymour Hoffman is superb in this movie. His character, Gust, is a rough around the edges, blunt secret agent who is basically the anti James Bond (as referenced in the movie). His comedic timing is perfect and every scene with Hanks and Hoffman in it will have you laughing at some point. The movie takes on a serious issue, but it also contains a lot of humor. It is written by the famous Aaron Sorkin, so the dialogue is pretty reminiscent of the West Wing and other projects he has worked on.

Overall the movie is funny, interesting and relevant. I would recommend watching it just for the scenes consisting of Hanks and Hoffman, just realize they don’t meet up until about halfway through the movie.

Grade: A

National Treasure 2 Review

I'm back with another great movie review! This time it is National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets. I, being a history buff, enjoyed the first National Treasure immensely. It contained a cool story, a hot girl and a funny dude. What more can you ask for? The 2nd one? Well . . .

I guess it can be satisfying saying that National Treasure 2 was exactly what I thought it was going to be. (I am going to pass at a golden opportunity to make a Denny Green jokes). It was a lesser, hastily put together version of the first and it was not very good.

The movie starts off with Ben Gates (Nick Cage) getting some shocking news from Mitch Wilkinson (Ed Harris) that his great grandfather, Thomas Gates, was the mastermind behind the assassination of President Lincoln. Ben Gates than sets out to prove his great grandfather's innocence. The movie seems like it is going to go into historical detail about Abraham Lincoln, but it doesn't. In fact this movie has pretty much nothing to do with Lincoln outside of the opening sequence. It ends up being a race to find the City of Gold (wasn't that the plot of the last one) that will help clear Thomas Gates' name, although they don't go into great detail how. Ben Gates returns with all his friends from the last one; Abigail Chase (Diane Kruger), Riley Poole (Justin Bartha) and Patrick Gates (the always awesome Jon Voight).

The movie lacks the charm of the first one, in fact it feels like a tired rehashing of the first one. For all the humor Riley brought to the first one, he really isn't that funny in the second one. Ben and Abigail are having relationship problems that predictably get solved during the treasure hunt (sorry I gave it away, but if you didn't see this coming anyway, you might have a low IQ). The plot is even less believable than the first one, and the final climatic scenes where they are navigating through caves seems like it was cut and pasted from a dungeon in one of the Legend of Zelda games. All the noble history references that were so cool in the first one seem so played out in this one. There are parts in the movie that lack imagination, as if the script was hurried out. It is kind of sad, but it is exactly what I expected.

Grade: C

I'm Back

With inspiration from Douglas MacAarthur, I say to you: "Readers to my blog, I have returned, Rally to me!"

Hey I'm back! It's good to be back and I hope that I did not lose to many readers with my prolonged absence. Hey, if a blogger writes and no one is reading, does it make a sound? We will find out. I went on hiatus because this past semester at school literally kicked my ass. I've never done so much work in my life, but that is over now. I went back to school to become a teacher, but ultimately I have chosen a different route with my life. I have taken a full time job as a content manager at the company I worked part time for. I wont bore you with the details, just know that I do a lot of editing now! I would love to get into writing or editing someday, but for now this is a good job that pays very well starting out. I also need to exercise my writing abilities more often, which means more blogging! Lucky for you!

There is a serious problem in this world I must address though . . .

The Writer's Strike

As past readers of this blog know, I love me some TV (that was incorrect grammar on purpose). When I've been going 110 mph with school work over the past few semesters watching TV was my escape. For an hour or so a night I could get lost in someone else's life, and not worry about what monster paper or project I had to write next. Well that has all come to a screeching halt with the writers strike, but don't worry I have a list of things you can do with all this free time you are going to have.

• Play the Wii. I guess this could be video games in general but I decided to stick with the Wii since it is more family oriented. Pick up a copy of a fun Wii party game, or even simple Wii sports, and have fun with people you like to hang out with. I am a little hypocritical saying this because I do not really play Wii all that much, or even own one (my roomate does), but it is a fun way to kill time. It also gives you quite the work out! Play Wii Tennis for a while and try not to sweat, it gets intense.
  
• Watch Bowl Games. Sure you may not find a game like the New Mexico Bowl pitting Nevada versus New Mexico interesting, but there is some intrigue in every bowl game. It classifies as reality TV, for you reality TV people (I hate reality TV if you remember). You might see a cool play or two, and there is always unique tradition when it comes to the bowl game or the teams. During the week after Christmas there is a game on every night! Including ASU vs Texas on the 27th! Hey if you are still bored by these games, bet on them. That always makes them more fun!
• Watch NBA Basketball. I wrote about this on the Tecmo Blog. The NBA has been a lot of fun to watch this year. Plus who doesn't love watching Shawn Marion halftime interviews, LeBron James be awesome, Chris Paul and Deron Williams become great point guards, Rasheed Wallace getting technical fouls or Vince Carter skate through another season without really trying? You never know when there will be another Truck Party or another drunk Boris Diaw appearance. The NBA, where amazing happens.
• Play trivial pursuit. Nothing beats a good game of trivia, especially when I am the one who is working you.
• Moves and DVDs. This would be a great time to see more movies or watch certain TV shows on DVD that you never got a chance to watch before.
• History Channel. The History, Discovery and Travel channel are all you really need to get you through life anyway.
• Do something creative. Write, sing, dance! Whatever it is you like to do start doing it.
• Read my blog. Yeah I'll update it more often, I am back ya know.
  

If all else fails, DRINK!!!!!!!!! We are no longer slaves to TV, time to live a little. Well I got my return blog out of the way and I have done quite a bit of rambling, so I guess I picked up right where I left off. I'm back and so are you.

Return is Imminent

Hooray for any of you still checking into the blog hoping the hiatus has ended. Well guess what? I'm coming back. There have been big changes in this blogger's life and there are gonna be fun things happening here. Until my official return, which will happen shortly, I will tease you with another Youtube cop out. Enjoy this classic bit from How I Met Your Mother, the Hot/Crazy scale:

Happy Halloween

We may be on hiatus here at Double the Blog but it does not mean we can't still give you holiday cheer. I know its early, but it is never to early for Halloween. So enjoy:

Oh Hiatus

School work so much to handle so I must suspend this blog for the time being. Check out some of my writing at the Tecmo Blog if you please. Hopefully I'll be back soon. This is not Double the Blog's last stand!

To appease you:



yeah its weird I know

Superbad Review

Wow I've not posted in a month! Normally I don't care because I don't think anyone reads, but thats untrue. Bjorn tells me he reads every day, therefore I must keep the blog going! On with the review:

After finding out Superbad was a Judd Apatow production I was instantly hooked. Apatow is on a movie making rampage right now and you have to soak it up before it runs dry, since all his movies are pretty much exactly the same I fear it will run dry someday soon. On the other hand, they are all great so keep a good thing going. Superbad is no exception, think of it as a younger version of Knocked Up.

The movie centers around Seth (Jonah Hill) and Evan (Michael Cera) and their last few weeks in high school. They are best friends and outcasts (of course) that happen to get invited to a party being thrown by a hot girl, Jules (Emma Stone). Jules is under the impression Seth has a fake ID and asks him to get liquor for the party. The movie then becomes about Seth, Evan and their friend Fogell (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) adventures in their attempts to obtain this liquor. They have a whole entire party relying on them to get booze, so you can imagine the pressure!

Hill, Cera and Mintz-Plasse are great in this movie. The conversations between Evan and Seth are side splitting funny, as Seth's intense personality is perfectly complemented by Evan's easy going nature. Also featured in this movie are two cops, Officers Slater (Bill Hader) and Michales (Seth Rogan, who also wrote the movie). Slater and Michales aren't your normal cops, they drink on the job, abuse their police power and drive recklessly. Their scenes with Fogell are hilarious but it gets a little over the top towards the end.

The movie contains some realistic characters (besides the cops) and you actually think this could be a real high school and real high school students. Then we get to Fogell, who is destined to go down as the next "Pedro" (from Napoleon Dynamite fame) in pop culture. He has more personality and a greater impact on this movie then Pedro did on ND, and he is just great. Right off the bat you can tell Fogell is the crazy character of the movie and it only gets better as he gets himself a fake ID, in which he inexplicitly chooses "McLovin" for his name. The McLovin references are so awesome, well they are reason enough to go see the movie. Be prepared for some crude language thrown around by Seth, and be prepared for a good time. Just in case you are on the fence about seeing it, well I provide you with this youtube clip to change your mind (the R rated trailer you won't see in theaters):



Grade: B+

Live Free or Die Hard Review

Here is the thing with sequels: They have a stigma of being a rehashed plot created by a movie executive/producer/writer who does not have any better ideas. It only gets worse the farther you go, which is why some people won't go see a movie like the 4th installment of Die Hard because they just assume it is going to be bad. I think that is a little short sighted thinking and if your only reason for not going to see Live Free or Die Hard is because its the 4th installment in a great movie franchise, well you need to get off your high horse.

The movie is based off an article by John Carlin called "A Farewell to Arms". So basically someone read the article and said "you know what, this is cool but what if John McClain was somehow involved". Personally, I think that is awesome. Who hasn't sat around and randomly wondered what John McClain would do in a certain situation and thought it would be a good movie. The movie is pretty simple, a hacker tries to systematically shut down the entire United States computing systems. McClain, with help from his little hacker friend (Justin Long), spend two hours trying to stop it. What do we get for those two hours? John McClain kicking ass and taking names. Its basically: Intense action scene, followed by McClain ending it in some super cool way, followed by McClain making a smart ass comment that you can't help but laugh at. It makes for an entertaining two hours.

The plot is interesting but its nothing special. It is two straight hours of pure fun. So relax, don't worry that its the 4th installment of a series, don't worry that no matter how many times he can get hit McClain doesn't seem to die, don't worry about any of it! Just enjoy yourself, because the movie is pretty fun to watch.

P.S. The movie contains one of the coolest ways I've ever seen anyone die, but I won't spoil it for you.

Grade: B

Transformers Review

I was never really into Transformers growing up so I don't have any real idea of the history or actual story, therefore there was no way the movie couldn't "be true to the story to me" because I do not know the story. If they left out certain transformers or one transformer didn't transform into what he did in the cartoon, well I didn't know and that wouldn't hinder me from enjoying the movie. That being said, its time to review:

Transformers is about a race of giant alien robots that can transform into things. The Autobots are the good guys and the Decepticons are the bad guys. The Decepticons come to Earth looking for the All-Spark, a cube like power source that can create their electronic life. If they get their hands on it they will end human life so it is up to the faithful Autobots to fight them. The 1st half of the movie basically centers around Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf) and his run in with Bumblebee, a transformer that turns into a Camaro, and Jon Voight who is the Secretary of Defense of the United States (I personally would have liked to have seen Jon Voight have a LeBaron that transformed into something to pay homage to that great Seinfeld episode!). The 2nd half of the movie is all action as the good guys battle the bad guys.

A good summer blockbuster needs a four things: Cool action, awesome special effects, humor to offset the action and hot girls. Transformers delivers on all of them. The first half of the movie is pretty funny but then it seems to hit a point about an hour and a half in that they stop doing anything funny altogether. Shia LeBeouf doubles as the main character and the comedic relief. His girl in the movie, Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox), is all kinds of hot. Jon Voight is awesome in any movie where he plays a high ranking authority figure. Rachel Taylor plays Maggie Madsen, a smoking hot, young NSA hacker (suspension of disbelief). Anthony Anderson plays another hacker in the perfect role for him, a bit part in a serious movie. Anthony Anderson is funny, but he can't carry movies. The special effects are awesome and the transformers are pretty damn cool. Even the product placement is cool (an Xbox 360 transformer!) The two faults I could find it in were that it was a little too long and it can get overly cheesy. This movie is all you can ask for out of a summer blockbuster.

Grade: A

Another Youtube Copout

I'll be out of town for a while so to hold my minsucle number of readers over its yet another Youtube clip! Youtube, the perfect way to maintain a blog without really doing anything!

Knocked Up Review

Knocked Up has been getting some of the best reviews I have ever seen a comedy get. Kyle Smith of the New York Post even referred to the movie as an “era defining comedy”. I did not need great reviews to get me excited for a movie that basically features the same cast and crew as the great 40 Year Old Virgin. Something unfortunate happened to me, at least, during this movie. This great comedy; and trust me it’s really, really good, got a tad bit over hyped.

The fact that I feel Knocked Up was over hyped may give the impression that I thought it was not that good. This is untrue; it’s really good and will have, like most Judd Apatow movies, incredible re-watchibility factor. The movie manages to be consistently funny for the entire length of this rather long, two hours and ten minutes, comedy.

The movie follows Ben Stone (Seth Rogan) and Allison Scott (Katherine Heigl) as they hook up during one drunken night and end up having to deal with an oncoming pregnancy. We also meet Ben’s crazy stoner friends and Allison’s sister Debbie and her husband Pete (played by 40 Year Old Virgin alums Leslie Mann and Paul Rudd). Paul Rudd’s character does not come to play during the 1st half of the movie, but when he finally gets to start doing his thing he becomes incredibly funny. Paul Rudd and Seth Rogan are always great together and they could make an entire movie based off their improve alone (case in point, the famous “You know how I know you’re gay?” scene in Virgin. The entire scene was improved). They manage to improve an entire scene about Back to the Future, which just may be my favorite scene in movie history.

There is a lot of comedic talent in this movie, besides Rogan and Rudd the movie also futures Jonah Hill (from Accepted), Jason Segel (How I Met Your Mother), Jay Baruchel (Undeclared), Harold Ramis, Alan Tudyk (Dodgeball, Serenity), and current SNL cast members Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader. (All these talented comedic actors seem always be characters in any movie Apatow produces, which is a good thing). The movie is long for a comedy, but never drags and scores on every single one liner it dishes out. Knocked Up will deliver a good night at the movies; just don’t blow it out of proportion with hype and expectations like I did.
Grade: B+

The Countdown: Mel Gibson

The countdown counts down the top 5 of a random topic I deem important enough to talk about at that certain time. Today it is the top 5 Mel Gibson movies as decided by me. Before he drunkenly slurred racial slurs (pun intended!) he actually made some solid movies. I will only count movies he acted in.

5. The Patriot

The Patriot was one of Mel Gibson's movies during his streak of trying to act in a war movie in every time period possible. The movie is American propaganda to an extreme degree. In case you missed it let me sum up the plot: Americans are great, noble people who never owned slaves while the British or horrible, disgusting people who take great pride in war crimes and atrocities. Yup, that is pretty much it. The movie is also historically inaccurate which would matter if it was trying to be an educational movie. Bottom line the movie is good, has good action, good acting and it involves Americans kicking British ass! It makes my top five because I do enjoy it.
Grade: B
Best Quote: "I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me, and the cost would be more than I could bear." - Benjamin Martin (Mel Gibson's character)

4. Signs

You either love or hate Signs, there is no middle ground. I have never seen another movie with such a wide disparity in the reviews as this one. Signs is one of my favorite horror/suspense movies. I think the tone is set right from the beginning when Mel is awoken by his daughter's screaming and when he goes to investigate the movie is dead silent. No cheesy, suspenseful background music, just dead silence. Nothing is scarier then dead silence. The movie is well acted, has a good story and a few good scenes of humor to break up the suspense. A lot of people say the movie was ruined when they showed the alien, but I do not believe so. Not all aliens should be little green men with big heads and bug eyes. If they had not shown the alien, you would have been pissed!
Grade: A
Best Scene: When we see the home video of a kid's birthday party and all the kids are screaming in horror, then for a split second we see the alien (for the first time) walk into and out of the frame. That made me jump in the theater, good stuff.

3. Lethal Weapon Series

Riggs! If you say buddy cop the first thing I think of is Riggs and Murtaugh. The 1st one was the best, and I liked the 3rd one the least but they were all pretty good. The funny thing is Murtaugh was close to retirement in the 1st one, yet made three more movies! Joe Pesci comes along in the 2nd one to give us some awesome comedic relief. The 2nd one also introduced the illiterate masses (such as me) to diplomatic immunity. The 4th one is pretty cheesy and overall not that good, but still enjoyable. Plus it introduced the world to Jet Li. Now I have a question for you to ponder, who would win in a fight between Riggs and John McClain (Bruce Willis' character from Die Hard)? That sounds like a whole other blog post.
Grade: 1: A-, 2: B+, 3: (dont remember or care) 4: C+
Cheesiest Scene: In the 4th one where Riggs just got done fighting Jet Li and is stuck under water and Murtaugh does not know where he is and yells out "Will me Riggs!" then dives into the water and swims to exactly where Riggs was. Wait, that is an awesome scene!

2. Maverick

Is there a more lovable, sleazy, card shark in film history then Brett Maverick? I think this movie is hilarious, and is Mel Gibson's best comedy performance. The characters are great too: Jodi Foster as Annabelle Bransford (she and Mel had great chemistry in this one), James Garner as Marshal Zane Cooper and Graham Greene as Joseph, the most unbelievable Native American in film history. Not only does this movie deliver on comedy and action, but it also fills the poker fix and old west fix! What a movie. If you have not quoted every line from the final table in this movie during your own poker nights with your friends, you are severely lacking in awesomeness.
Grade: A
Best Quote: "I have two small pair . . . 8's over 8's" - The Commodore

1. Braveheart

This is my favorite movie of all time. It is long, but never drags. The acting is great, the musical score is great and the ending is great. This movie is just plain great! It even won an academy award for best picture for its efforts. I get hooked from the very beginning, seeing the endless miles of green grass and the bagpipes blaring (God Bless Scotland!) If you didn't get sick to your stomach when Robert the Bruce double crossed William Wallace on the battlefield, you suck. If you weren't pissed when they slit Wallace's wife's throat, you have no compassion. If you didn't get goosebumps during Wallace's "freedom" speech, there is something wrong with you. If you weren't moved by Wallace yelling freedom instead of begging for mercy during his torture, you just might not be human. Great overall movie.
Grade: A+++
Best Scene:

Pirates of the Caribbean: At the World's End

So we have finally come to the final adventure of Jack Sparrow and his faithful friends (well, we think). The 2nd Pirates of the Caribbean movie had one main criticism: It was really confusing. Well At the World's End suffers from the same problem. The movie, although better then the 2nd, is incredibly hard to follow. These two sequels seem to have way much more going on the the original ever did (not a good thing). Pirates has had two sequels and neither can come close to comparing to the original. The humor that was so charming in the first one was tired and predictable in the 2nd and 3rd.

In the 1st Pirates of the Caribbean movie we followed Will Turner and Jack Sparrow as they tried to save Elizabeth from Pirates who were trying to break a curse on themselves. Simple, easy and good. The two sequels deal with the East India Trading Company, Davey Jones, Pirate Lords, Sea Goddesses and more. I have no idea what is going on! Who are the protagonists? The pirates? Pirates are bad guys! The English? They sure do not feel like it. Davey Jones? He is a walking curse. Hard to tell.

I'm getting off track. If you enjoy the humor of these movies, enjoy watching Johnny Depp play Jack Sparrow, enjoy Keria Knightly and enjoy the creativity and sense of fantasy these movies have, then you will enjoy this. They may pale in comparison to the original (which was a solid A movie) but they are still interesting. Even if they are tired and played out. At least this movie has closure, although you can't help but think they set it up for a 4th movie. Hey if you can keep pulling in $100 million opening weekends, you should keep making movies.

Grade: B-

The Finest Music Video Ever Made

Without a doubt the finest music video ever made, I thought I would dig it out of the vault because it still has amazing replay value. Jessica Simpson's career peak in my opinion. Bonus points because Willie Nelson is in it.

3rd Annual TV Awards Blog

Its hard to believe this is my third annual TV awards blog. It is an awards/year in review blog that I put out every year so my three readers can see what I have to say about the world of TV.
Disclaimer: I don't watch reality TV, so that will not be included. Very popular TV shows I don't watch due to the fact that I don't have the time or they conflict with my viewing schedule: Grey's Anatomy, House, 24, Lost and the Sopranos. So do not be angered that they do not appear in my list.

Away we go!

Best New Show: Heroes
I think I would classify Heroes as a surprise hit. I sure did not think it was going to be that good but what we got was a water cooler show in the sense that you always were wondering what would happen next. Twists and turns every week in this slow moving TV series. The initial fear that it would be an X-Men rip off has now subsided, the biggest reason you could call this show a success is the fact that got renewed for 30 episodes next year plus a spin-off series that will run for 6 episodes. 36 episodes! That is when you know your show is a winner.
Apologies to: Friday Night Lights, 30 Rock (hey NBC had a solid year!)

Most Disappointing Show: Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip
Back in its infancy, Studio 60 was supposed to be the show that spearheaded NBC's comeback attempt. Starring the wildly popular Mathew Perry (in an incredibly different role then his days as Chandler on Friends) and produced by Aaron Sorkin (of West Wing fame) this show had the hot buzz. Lets not forget it reintroduced Amanda Peet to our lives, which is always a good thing. The show never quite took off as the dialogs, while it was well written and smart, was totally unrealistic and it seemed the show often centered around right-wing Christian controversies. I liked it for what it was, but it could have been so much better. Luckily for NBC, their hit hour long drama ended up being Heroes.

If we removed all shows about medicine and law from TV, would there be anything left?

The Best Guest Character: Loyd the Delivery Man from Scrubs
(note, this award given to characters that appear on their show, but not enough to be considered a supporting character).
Loyd first made his appearance in season 5, as the air drummer for the classic air band. He had more of a roll in season 6 and was hilarious in the little time he was on screen. See Youtube clip for more details.
Apologies too: Almost any other bit character on Scrubs, Creed from the Office.



Best New Character: Hiro from Heroes
Originally meant to be the comic relief of the show, and he was, he ended up becoming the show's most popular character and the one you root for the most. How else to you explain this:
Extreme Apologies go to: Andy Bernard from the Office



Best Supporting Character: Loyd from Entourage
As his roll expands on the show the funnier he becomes. He is the perfect compliment and voice of reason to Ari, which also leads to incredibly funny gay jokes by Ari. He seems to be getting more screen time in season three.
Apologies too: Jake from Two and a Half Men, Janitor from Scrubs (or any other supporting scrubs cast member).

Best Character: Jim and Pam, the Office
Decided to give this award to two people, since the entire Office season was defined by the Jim, Pam and Karen love triangle. The excellent season finale (I wont give it away if you have yet to see it) only added to the great year they had. Everyone roots for them, Jim is the aloof guy that everyone likes and Pam redefines "girl next door" cute. Since Jim and Pam are close to overtaking Ross and Rachel as NBC's most famous couple ever, well you deserve the best character award. If you disagree, well just watch this youtube clip:
Apologies too: Dwight from the Office, anyone on Scrubs, Charlie from 2 1/2 Men, Barney from How I Met Your Mother, Alec Baldwin from 30 Rock, Lex Luthor from Smallville, Johnny Drama and Ari Gold from Entourage



Best Show: The Office, NBC
NBC's the Office had an amazing season, become the rock the NBC's return to Must See TV Thursday nights (although their slogan now is. "Comedy Night Done Right") and features such a cast of great characters that it had to win the award this year. Even though Michael Scott is almost unwatchable at times he is still pretty funny and the entire cast is awesome. For more see above about Jim and Pam. The year also gave us a bigger role for Creed and the introduction of Andy Bernard. Couldn't find a best of clip of season 3 on youtube yet, so you will have to settle for the best scene of the year:
Apologies to: Scrubs, Two and a Half Men, Heroes, Entourage



Thank you see you next year!

Spider-Man 3 Review

I love Spider-Man movies. I was incredibly pumped for the 1st one and it did not disappoint, the 2nd one was even better. When I heard the third one was coming out and tackling the best storyline Spider-Man has to offer, the symboite, I was incredibly pumped. What I was subject to was a mockery of the Spider-Man name. My review is split into two parts, my actual review that does not contain spoilers and my analysis that should only be read after you have seen the movie. So here I go:

Review

Spider-Man 3 suffers from trying to cram to much story into one movie. The movie contains three villains and not nearly enough time to give them enough back story and character development to make you care about them. That was not the case in the first two, when they only had one villain and did a great job with them. There is so much in this one that the stories are sloppy. Take into account the Sandman, played by Thomas Haden Church (Lowell from Wings! How far he has come!). He apparently turned to a life of crime to help save his daughter from an illness. The movie, however, never says what her illness is and NEVER resolves the situation! We start with Spider-Man being adored by the citizens of New York, the fame is quasi going to his head and starting to annoy Mary Jane, who's acting career is struggling. Peter has to avoid an attack by Harry Osborn, who has redesigned the old Goblin stuff from his dad. After that Peter/Spider-Man fights the Sandman, an escaped convict who's body is made of sand. The special effects in the Sandman battles are nothing short of breathtaking. Peter later finds out that the Sandman actually killed his uncle, in his pre-sandman days, which drives Peter to seek revenge. An alien substance from outer space takes this time to bond with Peter, turning him into a more power full and evil Spider-Man with a fresh looking black suit. The suit feeds on aggression and causes Peter to do evil things. Once Peter turns evil the movie gets so cheesy it is impossible to take seriously. The rest of the movie deals with Peter trying to rid himself of the suit while dealing with the Sandman, Harry Osborne and a new villain that comes in at the end; Venom. Compared to the first two, this Spider-Man is awful. The biggest disappointment I have ever felt after a movie.
Grade: C-

Analysis

Put on your seat belt, I am a huge Spider-Man fan boy and feel the need to break down how bad this Spider-Man movie was from both a movie stand point and a true to the comics stand point. The symbiote storyline is Spider-Man's best storyline. It is an alien substance that bonds with him, enhances his powers and makes him evil (so evil he basically starts to hop the line between hero and villain, and lets his rage control him at all times). The symbiote can morph itself into whatever clothes Peter wishes it, so he never really has to dress himself again. In the movie, however, it's just a suit like his normal Spider-Man suit. That's bullshit! Not nearly as cool. The suit only affected how he acted when he had it on, where as in the comics he always had it on. As for Peter becoming "evil", it was pathetic. I'm sure Sam Rami was trying to be funny, but he went way to far. Instead of evil, Peter becomes a somewhat mix of 70s John Travolta and an Emo punk. Its laughable, the whole theater was laughing and not for good reasons. He starts walking down the street, pointing to women, doing gay disco dance moves and saying weird saying like "give me some shade, long legs" (to a woman). When he ditches the suit and it bonds with Eddie Brock and creating Venom, well the movie sucked at that too. The look and effects were awesome, but the character sucked. When Venom talks he refers to himself as "we", referring to Eddie Brock and the symbiote. Not in the movie, it did not help that Eric Foreman played Spider-Man's greatest enemy. At the end of the movie Venom gets Sandman's help to take down Spider-Man which is bogus. Venom is a loner and he wants to kill Spider-Man by himself. He actually would defeat people attacking Spider-Man because he did not want anyone to steal his glory. Plus he does not need any help, he is physically superior in every way to Spider-Man (his only weakness being sound). The movie also did not make it clear that the symbiote actually made Spider-Man more powerful while he was wearing it. The Spider-Man movies have sort of varied from the comics in the past, which was fine. But they never varied this much and made such a mockery out of the character. Rami, Maguire and Dunst did their job for the first two movies but it might be time for them to step aside.

The ending was horrible, with the Sandman and Spider-Man "forgiving" each other then the Sandman drifts off into the sunset. Never mind that they never resolved the Sandman's daughter is ill storyline. The symbiote storyline is Spider-Man's best. It makes Spider-Man more powerful, gives him a cool black suit, makes him evil, shows him overcoming the evil inside of him and gives birth to his coolest villain. It is supposed to be darker then all other Spider-Man stories. If a Saturday morning cartoon can do a better job of portraying this then a movie without the limitations of catering to a young audience, then that is just sad. I want to forget this movie ever happened.

The World Needs More Air Banding

Is Anyone Reading?

I know the answer to this question and it is: Yes. Hopefully. As I was reading some old blog entries I realized something, first off I almost abandoned this blog when Tecmo Blog started up, and second I really enjoyed writing this blog. When I write for Tecmo Blog (in case you don't know is the big blog I write for click on the link for more info) I try to be somewhat professional. When I write for this blog I get to talk in first person, ramble on about things in my life no one cares about and not overly worry about grammar. Most importantly I really enjoy re-reading my posts months later and remembering what was going on at that time in my life. So I have come to the conclusion that this blog is for me as much as it is for you. So with that in mind I am bringing it back. The goal is a lot more posting, especially about the random things going on in my life. It might be tough for the next month since school will be crazy, but once school is out I am all yours. With that in mind lets kick off this post:

I have no roomates. None, nada. Zilch. Just 10 days ago I had two other roommates lined up and was all set to move into the most awesome apartment complex I had ever laid eyes on (that I could afford) the Galleria Palms located right next to Arizona Mills. So what happened? Both my potential roommates are no longer looking for places to live and that leaves me high and dry with just about two months left on my lease. I have no options and a burning desire to somehow, someway find my self living in the Galleria Palms. Why is this apartment complex so awesome? Well lets just say when I went over to check out the Large's new apartment (he lives there) all we saw while standing on his balcony and drinking beer were hot girls. As we decided to check out the pool we met these people playing beer pong in the pool area and proceeded to dominate them in a game. Why do I want to leave my current apartment? Maybe it is because my window sits right on Baseline Rd (seriously) something that was not mentioned to me when I moved in. There are other reasons but lets just I am having a roommate crisis.

Finally my bar crew and I have managed to create the most incredibly awesome array of dance moves of all time. You may think they are horrible, but I defy you you ladies to not love them after:

• you have had a few drinks
• you are sick of the way 99% of guys dance
• you want to see something new or crazy

It is hard to type them out in a blog without physically showing you them, something I will not do unless I am in a social setting with some liquid courage in my hand. Next time you see me in this setting just ask to see "the lawnmower" the dance is sheer awesomeness. Thats all for now, see you on the dance floor.

TMNT

I, like most kids of my generation, I LOVED the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I am pretty sure they were my life for my formidable years before I turned double digits. I can not count how many action figures I owned. I remember bragging with kids in school about how many times I had seen the original turtles movie in the theater, I think I said 5 and some kid bested me with 8 but these were totally untrue and just young kids exaggerating for effect. Then after the 3rd movie came out, even I remember that one being bad, the Turtles were pretty much done as a part of my life. The only exposure I had to them since was a few years ago at the Cottonwood house. It was 2am and a party had just died and I remember stumbling across the DVD of the first movie, putting it in and enjoying it throughly before I fell asleep about half way through. So what does all this senseless backstory mean? When I heard they were making a new one, almost 15 years since the last one came out, I decided I had to go see it. I owed it to my past self. If I did not see it and you traveled back in time and told the 8 year old version of me that I chose not to see a turtles movie he would be pissed! He might cut off his finger just to spite me now (damn crafty past Aaron!). So I saw it and now I must review it:

The movie takes place after the originals way back in the early 90s. Shredder is dead (many will be disappointed he does not appear in this movie) and the turtles have basically packed it in. Splinter sent Leonardo to train in Central America, but he has been gone for three years. While he has been gone Splinter has forbidden any surface fighting activity by the turtles. So they spend their time in different ways: Michaelangelo works kid's birthday parties, Donatello works as an IT phone help guy and Splinter watches soap operas. Raphael secretly moonlights as a crime fighting vigilantly. Yes these turtles world has changed, they don't really feel whole anymore. There is a scene were Raphael and Casey Jones (yeah he is back) reminisce about the old days. After a chance meeting with April in Central America, Leonardo decides to come back and is immediately at odds with Raphael (of course) who resents him because he left. Most of the movie focuses on their conflict but then gives way to the main story line. They must fight a bunch of ancient immortal stone generals who are trying to take over the world, you know classic Saturday morning cartoon stuff. The Climactic scenes were okay, but the rest of the movie was what I liked the most. Watching the turtles shake off their rust and slowly return to what we used to know them as. The movie has your same classic jokes, that may seem tired and worn to some but I would have been disappointed if they tried to change anything (they are very, very true to the classic characters you all remember).

The movie has an Incredibles feel to it in animation and humor. I was surprised to say I found myself laughing out loud a few times at the classic turtles shtick. I honestly did not think "throughly enjoyed it" were the words I was going to use to describe this movie. Then again the entire time I watched it I could not help but feel like past Aaron, there was no way he was NOT going to let me like this movie.
Grade: B+

Pure Awesomeness

I have resorted to posting youtube clips lately but hey for good reason. Consider this guy a lock to win my best character award in my TV awards blog this year as well as the sole reason I am going to buy a suit. Suit Up!

Hooch is Crazy!

An ode to the greatest minor character in TV show history. Is it a blessing or curse that he only appeared on three episodes?

300

I finally ended my movie embargo this weekend (first movie seen in the theater since Rocky Balboa) with a viewing of Frank Miller's 300. It seemed like a good choice, by the guy who created Sin City, about Spartan Warriors and lots of non stop action.

300 is about, you guessed it, 300 Spartan warriors who fight to fend off an attack from a much larger Persian army (historic estimates have it at about 300,000). The story follows King Leonadis' 300 men in non stop action. They slice and dice the enemies for two straight hours, only taking breaks for an uninteresting side story and to make wise cracks. The fighting is pretty awesome and really cool, but at some point it gives away to being kind of cheesy. In one scene an oncoming Persian Rhino is baring down on a Spartan solider with a spear. The solider throws the spear, kills the rhino that happens to come to a sliding halt with it's horns just inches away from the Spartan warrior. It was totally predictable, and would be cool if there were not already 20 other scenes like that. Yeah these Spartans are good, but no one is that good. We are also treated to a back story of Leonadis' wife, the Queen, pleading with the senate to send the Spartan army to his aide. The only reason this story, which never gets resolved, seems to be in the movie is to serve as a break in between action scenes. I think a better option would have been having a intermission screen, giving viewers time to go to the bathroom and get more popcorn.

Overall the movie is entertaining, it is two hours long but does not drag (except for the Queen scenes). The fighting starts soon, and the Persian army sends a bunch of cool looking bad guys the Spartans way. If you are in the mood for two hours of bashing, slashing, machismo then this is for you. This one is probably not for the girls.

Grade: B

I Love College Life

From time to time I like to hit you all with a random story from a random night. Last night, for example, I went to a random party. Well I feel a few things that happened last night needs documentation and since I rarely get a chance to post on this blog this is the best you are gonna get for a while! Last night J to the, Pro and I went to some random party (it was someone Pro knew but for all intent and purposes it was random). I ended up knowing a few people there but that is not relevant to the story. Basically the night can be broken down into three awesome stories:

• At the party was a video game called Guitar Hero. It is pretty popular, for those who don't know the controllers are guitars and you actually "play" to the music by pressing corresponding buttons on the guitar and what not. The game is a favorite of Detroit Tigers pitcher Joel Zumaya. So I decided to give the game a try, jamming out to "Sweet Child of Mine" by Guns and Roses. After a horrible start because I had no fucking clue what I was doing, I came on strong. So strong in fact I broke the game. The game froze. I said it was because I was so damn good, J to the claimed it was because "I was horrible" (actually it was because the game glitches on Sweet Child of Mine). Shortly after that some random girl arrived, championing her Guitar Hero skills developed from playing it at a Wal Mart one day. I naturally told her I would destroy her heads up (there is a heads up feature in the game) and I proceeded to. At one point I guess I accidentally paused the game during a key moment in her guitar rifting, in which she called me a cheater for pressing the start button. To which I replied "I didn't know guitars had start buttons." Good times. Either way I dominated her the first song, she then demanded a rematch. I chose "Freebird" forgetting the song is about 9 hours long. After a marathon session in which I beat her by about 20,000 points (a major ass kicking) I dropped the guitar and said "I told you once you son of a gun, I'm the best there ever was" (that was quoting Charlie Daniels in 'The Devil Goes Down to Georgia, and I actually didn't say that. Sadly I am not that awesome).
• Story number two of the night comes a few hours later when we are trying to figure out how we are going to get a ride home. Pro keeps promising to find us a ride, but in fact he is just bullshitting us and totally planning on passing out at the house. J to the steals an energy drink from fridge and says "I'll pound this energy drink, and then I'll walk home" (we are about 4 miles away from our house and its about 45 degrees outside, that ain't happening.) Shortly after this I get a phone call from the Large and I think to myself "maybe the Large can give us a ride home." However he is in Tuscon, super hammered and just keeps repeating "chea, chea chea, chea" before hanging up. There went that plan. Don't worry we got home safe and sound.
• When we finally got home and woofed down some random Mexican food we picked up on the way home, Pro suddenly darts outside onto the back patio. J to the and I both assume he is puking. When comes back in I ask him if he puked, but Pro responds "no, I was just recalibrating". What does this mean? We have no idea. We don't believe him. Pro repeats, "I didn't puke, I was just recalibrating." To which J to the responds, "Are you a fucking joystick?" Maybe the greatest response to anything ever. When I asked Pro about this today, he had no recollection of this conversation (actually his exact words were, WTF is recalibrating)

Those three stories made it one hell of a night. I knew there was a reason I stayed in college.

Enough With Health Foods!

I was walking across campus today accompanied by the sounds of my stomach rumbling and decide to stop and get some lunch, sadly my lunch was a bag of Ruffles I got out of the vending machine. On the bag was a label that proudly read: "made with 100% real sunflower juice". What the hell does that mean? Even worse this kind of stuff is everywhere! Countless snack foods are littered with the phrase "0 grams Trans fat". Of course look at the nutrition facts on these foods and they still have high amounts of fat and cholesterol, but hey there is no Trans fat! It does not matter what you eat today anyway, everything is bad. Unless you grow it and cook it organically without any flavor the food you are eating is probably bad for you, or so it seems. I go by the simple slogan, the less taste the healthier it is. What about Michelob Ultra? Apparently it is a low carb beer that people think they can binge drink on and not get a beer gut. Do not get me started on carbs, my rant would grow to long. I blame all of this stuff on Subway. Subway started running adds (earlier this century) about how much healthier they were then some stores. They said they were much healthier than McDonalds, then proceeded to prove their point by matching up their healthiest sub (some no taste sub with no cheese or any goodies on it) to McDonald's most unhealthy menu item, the Big Mac. Never mind McDonalds has a number of menu items comparable to Subway's taste free healthy sub, but Subway also has a number of menu items comparable to McDonalds cholesterol filled Big Mac. But McDonalds is the bad guy? I just miss when someone used to tell me what to eat and made all my meals, that was an easier day. I did not make any decisions. In fact I want that back, I think I am going to hire a cook. Anyone out there want to work for low wages making me food every day?

Fiesta Bowl

When you get the pleasure of watching unbelievable fantastic games like the Fiesta Bowl was tonight, well you just realize why you spend all that time following sports, watching sports and living and dying sports. Tonight’s game was it; this is what we live for. That game is the justification of why us sports nuts do what we do. I was rooting for Boise State because they were the underdog and I think they are actually a pretty darn good football team. I think people might say Bob Stoops didn’t have his team ready to play but I think Boise State was just that good. Maybe Oklahoma had more talent but when you get guys that match your system perfectly, well that is better than having superior talent. All I know was Oklahoma was playing their asses off at the end of the game. I also know that Boise should have won it running away, up 28-10 in the 2nd half. Those last few minutes well let me just say:
I didn’t think Paul Johnson had what it took to lead OU down the field like so give him credit for picking apart the Boise defense that seemed really tired. Another thing that will be forgotten was the three two point conversion attempts. The first one failing but OU getting another chance because of a Boise State penalty, then the second one succeeding but waived off due to that OU penalty and then the third one succeeding. That was just awesome drama alone right there. I felt crushed for Boise State after the interception return, which would have been a horrible way to go out. As for the insane hook and later play that tied the game, well let’s just say that might have been the most awesome play I had ever seen at the time and I didn’t expect to not even be the best play of the game when it was all said and done. What is going to get lost in the shuffle was the awesome 25 yard TD run by Adrian Peterson on the first play of OT to put the Sooners up. Then Boise tries to come back with what looked to be a flea flicker before the play got busted up. My head was spinning when I saw QB Jared Zabransky go into motion on what was then the most critical play in the history of Boise state football yet they still score the TD with their stud QB lining up in the slot. Bottom line was the statue of liberty play they ran to win the game was the coolest designed play I have ever seen in college football. Simply amazing and to top it off Ian Johnson gets engaged during the post game interview. That, my friends, is a textbook Hollywood ending. Will someone make a movie about this team? Because if they don’t I will.

Simply Amazing, congrats Boise State! Seeing a small town school from the West Coast excel in the big time stage is something I always love.